What do you guys think?

David

David

New member
I dunno, if you moderators have to move this to the "Serious Discussions" section then go ahead, but if not then thanks :)

So how do you all feel about relationships before marriage? I am talking about the typical American "boyfriend/girlfriend" relationship? I guess I am asking this because its sucks to be afraid to get in a relation ship knowing that you are still young, even though you wish you would have met this person later in life. What are your takes on this? Give me pro's and con's of what you all think.
 
honestly i would shit my pants loool but you got to learn about love and you experience it by dating people how would you know if your with the right person if you dont have a relationship , on the other hands i think being single rocks loooool the hell with relationships something always goes wrong either the girl cheats or guy, or they fall 4 sum1 else

but im only postn this coz im mad lol

dnt quote me on this plz lool

if you like some1 david go for it, u got nothing to lose anyways u sound like a nice guy lol ;-)
 
heh well thanks. yeah, its just that lately I have been thinking about this person alot, and even though we both feel the same way, its scary to think that in a few months things may not be the same? people sometimes say it is a waste of time to have a boyfriend/girlfriend at a young age because chances are things dont work out? I have had a serious relationship before this (3 years) and I just dont want to see what happened with that relationship happen here, even though this is COMPLETELY different and unlike anything I have ever felt.

But yeah, I guess I just needed to talk to someone about this. Thanks for answering though SweeTy!
 
any time loool in a way if ur young and have a relationship u could learn more u knw, but i think u should go for it if u both like each other then make the move b4 u regret it later on and if it dsnt work then maybe she wasnt the one 4 u dnt worry plenty of fish in the sea ;-)
 
Hey David. You asked a really difficult question...I was in a relationship where I was happy but it ended sourly and since then I have looked at relationships from a different perspective.

Recently I met someone that i thought I would like to have a relationship with but then i thought to myself that i'm still young and it might be a waste of time...I still don't know...is it right to go into a relationship if you don't think that the relationship will last?
 
wow couldnt of put it better myself loool miguel ur post is in my head now looool i think im gonna use that adivce except the dating part where u would warn the guy and say plz dnt jump 2 quick coz a guy once said the heart works faster than the mind ;-)
 
hmmmm.... lets see.. i think its normal for people to experience dating b4 they get married... would u rather marry someone u really really love or someone you've never met b4...??

anyways.. when i was younger.. i always told myself i wasnt gonna date anyone til i was older... cuz whoever i date is gonna be the guy i marry.... i was stupid.. cuz my last boyfriend was an ass... we'll just put it that way.. cuz if i were to explain the story... it would just take up too much of my time.. i guess that can count as a con.. cuz when ur younger... ur sooo "in love" with eachother.. but as u get older ... sometimes that "love" u thought u shared.. fades away...

a pro would be the fact that u'll be prepared for the bad times in ur next relationship.. for example.. if u get cheated on while ur in a relationship.. its gotta be one of the worst feelings in the world... a few years or whatever down the road.. when ur dating someone else.. if they end up cheating on u as well.. u most likely wont be as heart broken as u were the first time.. cuz u learned how to deal with it in the past..

but yeah.. i definately learned from that dating experience... now i'm just loving the single life.. i'd prefer being single over taken anyday :2hearts:
 
david,

Lots of people met in High School and ended up living the rest of their lives together, hopefully happily ever after, and I believe you're much older than that age group, so I don't see why you shouldn't.

Obviously you know this person reasonably well since you mentioned that you think both of you feel the same way, and I believe that if you know someone to a certain extent, then you can tell whether a relationship with them would work or not putting aside the physical attraction part since that always clouds your judgement.

If you like her, and you think she likes you, and you think there is a good chance that she can be the one, then start shifting things in that direction. You learn love & relationships from trying, not by shying away from the experience and just watching it on a film or reading about it in a book.


I just dont want to see what happened with that relationship happen here
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If everyone thought this way, only 1% of people would've been with someone, since the vast majority of people have been through bad breakups and its never good, but you need to give others a chance.

Leave the negative thoughts aside and go for it.
 
Wigger Will said:
is it right to go into a relationship if you don't think that the relationship will last?
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Depends on the reason!!!

If you're honest with the woman from day 1 and tell her what your intentions are, I don't see why not.

If you want to be with someone just for the sake of having someone, or just to go out with them and for the physical side of things, no strings attached and you explain this to her, then go with it, I did it once and even though it didnt last that long, we both knew that we weren't in that relationship looking for love or a long term partner, so no one was hurt when it ended.


SweeTy

That avatar of yours is distracting as its too damn sexy.

Is that you?
 
I always say that i would never get involved in another relationship due to the freaking heartbreak but i always do :mrgreen:
it's nice when u have someone who loves u, cares about you, and those stuff, even though it might not last and u might end up heartbroken, but hey that's ur desitny and u cant do anything about it :)
but i always take breaks, i dont jump straight into another relationship after the other.
I like trying different guys and shit, so i would know what i want and how guys "operate" lol even though sometimes u get hurt, u just wanna try something else until u get somewhere :S i dont know
 
dating b4 marriage is a good thing.. it lets u experience first hand what its like to be in an intimate relationship with another.it lets you go thru the good and bad times throughout the course of dating. u can learn from ur mistakes to build better relationships in tha future.. its like a prep b4 an exam lol..relationships are preppin u for marriage.. tha more experience/practice u have, tha better
 
Dating is a way to realize how special ur wife truely is, assuming u dont find her. Because she is the one that you choose to spend the rest of your life with. The only way you can find this girl is by dating. You cant just assume shes the one and marry her and realize that you two are totally different. I understand you can be friends first and notice ur similarities and that, but dating is the best way to realize if shes the "one" or not. Thats my take on it, and im sure others feel this way too.
 
chaldean86 said:
dating b4 marriage is a good thing.. it lets u experience first hand what its like to be in an intimate relationship with another.it lets you go thru the good and bad times throughout the course of dating. u can learn from ur mistakes to build better relationships in tha future.. its like a prep b4 an exam lol..relationships are preppin u for marriage.. tha more experience/practice u have, tha better
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EXACTLY...
 
yeah but what about when you have met someone you want to be serious with, but you are young and dont plan to get married anytime soon? lol. i am going to be 20 soon, but i know what love is about (i have experienced it before), but what happens when you meet someone that you know is a good person, has a good heart, would treat you with respect, has all the qualities you are looking for, is beautiful, intelligent, funny, laid back, down to earth, etc etc.

Sigh, I dunnoooooooooooooooooooooooooo what to do lol
 
how u gonna buy a car without takin it for a test drive?
haha no no im playin ... :mrgreen:

there are different types of relationships, and there are different reasons for having them .. no one can tell you if its right or wrong because what might be wrong to you might be right to someone else... its all up to you .. age has nothing to do with it .. even if you're 30 but aren't prepared or aren't ready for a relationship, dont go for it .. its all about your state of mind and your mentality, if you feel that you are ready for it .. then theres no stopping you ... communication is the key, talk to the girl about it, see what she wants ... if she wants a relationship and you're ready for it, then why not ... and like a few people said, you can tell whether a relationship will last or not... so you have the same interests at heart, then why not ... but if its beyond you, dont jump into it...because most of the time the pain your gonna go thru will last longer than even the relationship lasted... its a risk, if you think its worth it.. go for it
 
david said:
yeah but what about when you have met someone you want to be serious with, but you are young and dont plan to get married anytime soon? lol. i am going to be 20 soon, but i know what love is about (i have experienced it before), but what happens when you meet someone that you know is a good person, has a good heart, would treat you with respect, has all the qualities you are looking for, is beautiful, intelligent, funny, laid back, down to earth, etc etc.

Sigh, I dunnoooooooooooooooooooooooooo what to do lol
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Thats when u date them!!!
 
David

I know where your coming from and if you feel this person is got all the qualities you?re looking for, than just talk to her, maybe chill together, nothing official! Just as friends.
When you?re ready, she is your friend and right there, assuming she feels the same about you!
Nothing better than falling in love with someone you know?
 
Don't rush into it..why are u making it a big deal? Just let it take its course. If it's meant to happen then it will happen.. but get to know her and be friends with her. I believe the best relationships are those that start off as friendships...they have more meaning to them and seem to last longer, and I'm sure I'm not the only one who believes that. :yes:
 
David, everyone has made excellent points. Some I agree with and some I don't. But my advice would be to think about your motives firsthand. Majority of women want a committed relationship, someone who will care for them, etc etc. It's all usually up to your motives and reasons for getting with her. If your intentions are good and sound then I say go for it. Mistakes occur in relationships, but majority of mistakes occur when intentions/motives are not in favor of both individuals, rather a selfish one by you or her. I say dating is not wrong before marriage. I think it has gone way out of proportion. If you want to keep things from getting to crazy I think hanging out with her and friends is a great way to test the water, see how she is in person interacting with other people. Most people's real selves come out when their out with a lot of people. I know this is a 1950's mentality, but I've heard it works. I dunno. Good luck. I am sure she is an awesome person.
 
david,

why you worrying---you should try as many relationships as you can---

once you are married you have sentences your life to prison!

skipper
 
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