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Ten ways ISIS cares about the environment and takes global warming seriously


Staff member
Ten ways ISIS cares about the environment and takes global warming seriously:

1-Lately, they have resorted to drowning their victims instead of burning them, thus saving the ozone from unnecessary smoke.

2-To avoid wasting water, no water is ever wasted to wash any beheading scenes, including those in public squares. The sun will take care of it.

3-When they set their victims or other sites on fire, they let it burn until nothing is left of it: this ensures no valuable water is wasted dousing the flames.

4-People were mistaken about ISIS' reasoning for starving their captives: it is not to punish them but rather to protect our planet and resources, that would have otherwise gone towards feeding their captives.

5-They have come up with an ingenious method to solve Iraq and Syria's rivers drought problems: replace the lost water with human blood.

6-There is a reason the terrorist organization doesn't yet-and hopefully ever-have its own planes: they know they can be the biggest polluters out there. So they stick to their cars, or donkeys for even more gas emission reduction.

7-Did you know why the majority of ISIS men and even their women soldiers are masked or veiled? That is right, they don't want to further pollute the environment with their stinking breath and extreme body odor.

8-Easy trivia question: why do ISIS members take only one shower per season? That is right, it is to ensure they are not wasting any water. They rather stay dirtier than wild animals in a swamp than to waste earth's valuable water.

9-Believing they are a big contributor to pollution and by extension global warming, they have declared their own 'war on cars' : every car in areas they control has one fate, to be detonated by a suicide bomber. And if not enough suicide bombers come through the pipes, ISIS is hoping Google's self-driving technology can be imported so the cars can be programmed to commit suicide bombings on their own with no human intervention. Google's technology should enable ISIS to achieve a better 'economy of scales' in getting rid of all the cars out there.

10-Last but not least, why is ISIS so fascinated by the color black, wearing black uniforms, having a black banner etc.? Simple: they don't like to waste/use electricity so they prefer to be in the dark, literally and figuratively speaking. And by 'electricity' we mean their 'brains' .

Bonus: why is ISIS so fascinated with killing? it is not what you think actually. They believe that through population control, climate control is easier to achieve.


Active member
These may be insensitive but they're a funny and clever jokes! Lol

I guess are ISIS are extreme environmentalists...


Active member
Neon said:
Maybe METTE;

Muslims for the Ethical Treatment of the Environment
more like MAWTA

Muslim And Wahhabi Treatment of Assyrians (since I just made that up, trademarked! lol)


Active member
mrzurnaci said:
more like MAWTA

Muslim And Wahhabi Treatment of Assyrians (since I just made that up, trademarked! lol)
Funny, because mawta means death in Assyrian Lol