I found this article very interesting, what do you guys think?
Marriage of love or love of marriage?
By Amer Al-Hamdani
Jun 5, 2005 - Vol. VIII Issue 22
Many people all over the world have their own opinions about marriage. Pre-arranged marriages are preferred over marriages of love in Yemen, and they play an important role in the traditions and customs here.
In Yemen, people's traditional beliefs make them think that marriages for love do not last forever and may lead to divorce later in life because a couple know too much about each other before marriage. After marriage there is nothing left to learn about each other! Also, most couples hide their defects before marriage and only reveal their good sides. Consequently, after marriage a couple could be surprised by certain behavior that had been concealed in the past. That's why they say, ?The engagement is the best period.? Sure it's going to be the best period because it's all going to be about pretense and hiding true identities. This causes problems in marital life because a couple became accustomed to prior behavior. Yemeni tradition believes that these matters will occur if the marriage had a love story before it.
According to Yemeni tradition pre-arranged marriage has many advantages, such as the fact that both sides do not know each other. People think that married life continues in the shadows until each learns about the others behavior or attitudes. This is an advantage, according to traditional beliefs. Another advantage is that it allows both sides to know each other's defects and good sides in reality.
Personally, I think that love marriages are more successful than prearranged ones because the couple know and understand each other. I also think that in order to have a successful married life there must be "honesty" between couples, no matter what the consequences may be. Also, for a successful marriage a couple should not conceal the true identity of their personalities. I know marriages for love are considered to be wrong in our Muslim society, but if you think about it, there is nothing wrong with having a relationship with someone if respect and honesty is present.
A few urbane thinkers believe love marriages are harmless if the couple's relationship has limitations. But some couples take their relationship to the furthest extent (if you know what I mean). Without any hesitation this is wrong. Some people who take their relationship further, especially males, give promises about marriage just to use women, but in the end they leave them for other women. The woman is left miserable, which leads her either to hate men or to deceive any man she meets from then on. This is a minor reason why people should avoid love marriages. A love story is dangerous if it lasts for a long time because as the days pass the greed for more love gains strength. A certain individual would want more and more from the opposite sex. Love over the phone will not satisfy the couple so they meet each other. Then gradually the plot thickens, all for the sake of love.
I think if someone should have a pre-marriage relationship based on love then it must be built on honesty, seriousness and faithfulness. And if you love someone, never let anything or anyone stand between you, because love is a sacred thing. For the world you are someone, but for that someone you are the world....
Copyright (c) 2004 - 2005
Yemen Observer Newspaper
Marriage of love or love of marriage?
By Amer Al-Hamdani
Jun 5, 2005 - Vol. VIII Issue 22
Many people all over the world have their own opinions about marriage. Pre-arranged marriages are preferred over marriages of love in Yemen, and they play an important role in the traditions and customs here.
In Yemen, people's traditional beliefs make them think that marriages for love do not last forever and may lead to divorce later in life because a couple know too much about each other before marriage. After marriage there is nothing left to learn about each other! Also, most couples hide their defects before marriage and only reveal their good sides. Consequently, after marriage a couple could be surprised by certain behavior that had been concealed in the past. That's why they say, ?The engagement is the best period.? Sure it's going to be the best period because it's all going to be about pretense and hiding true identities. This causes problems in marital life because a couple became accustomed to prior behavior. Yemeni tradition believes that these matters will occur if the marriage had a love story before it.
According to Yemeni tradition pre-arranged marriage has many advantages, such as the fact that both sides do not know each other. People think that married life continues in the shadows until each learns about the others behavior or attitudes. This is an advantage, according to traditional beliefs. Another advantage is that it allows both sides to know each other's defects and good sides in reality.
Personally, I think that love marriages are more successful than prearranged ones because the couple know and understand each other. I also think that in order to have a successful married life there must be "honesty" between couples, no matter what the consequences may be. Also, for a successful marriage a couple should not conceal the true identity of their personalities. I know marriages for love are considered to be wrong in our Muslim society, but if you think about it, there is nothing wrong with having a relationship with someone if respect and honesty is present.
A few urbane thinkers believe love marriages are harmless if the couple's relationship has limitations. But some couples take their relationship to the furthest extent (if you know what I mean). Without any hesitation this is wrong. Some people who take their relationship further, especially males, give promises about marriage just to use women, but in the end they leave them for other women. The woman is left miserable, which leads her either to hate men or to deceive any man she meets from then on. This is a minor reason why people should avoid love marriages. A love story is dangerous if it lasts for a long time because as the days pass the greed for more love gains strength. A certain individual would want more and more from the opposite sex. Love over the phone will not satisfy the couple so they meet each other. Then gradually the plot thickens, all for the sake of love.
I think if someone should have a pre-marriage relationship based on love then it must be built on honesty, seriousness and faithfulness. And if you love someone, never let anything or anyone stand between you, because love is a sacred thing. For the world you are someone, but for that someone you are the world....
Copyright (c) 2004 - 2005
Yemen Observer Newspaper
