Have you heard of people inuring themselvs for fun?
- Thread starter ASHOOR
- Start date
ashoor said:
HAHHAA, that line cracks me up...
ashoor, are you talking about the show Jackass?
like this:
http://www.veryfunnydownloads.com/jackass/fire_works.mov
SlitUrAnkles
New member
oh lord...ima bite my tongue a bit...
those people who cut themselves do it as a release. its a psychological problem and those people need professional help. we all have different ways of coping with hard times, and many of our coping mechanisms arent healthy, however cutting urself is extremely dangerous due to all the bleeding that can occur.
it has absolutely nothing to do with rock music :dry:
those people who cut themselves do it as a release. its a psychological problem and those people need professional help. we all have different ways of coping with hard times, and many of our coping mechanisms arent healthy, however cutting urself is extremely dangerous due to all the bleeding that can occur.
it has absolutely nothing to do with rock music :dry:
SillySally
New member
Hauleen said:
It's referred to as 'cutting' and it is a psychological disorder. These people have great internal pain and don't know how to express this. They cut themselves to show that they are in pain, it becomes symbolic of their internal conflict, the same way a failed suicide attempt it a call for help.
If you want to get technical, their behavior is normal, it's just an extreme form of normality. For instance, many people cry when they feel pain inside, this is the same thing but displayed via a different behavior, an acceptable behavior that it relatively acceptable, however cutting is an extreme form of expressing one's pain that is destructive.
All psychological disorders are extreme forms of normality so don't get too judgmental!
Ashour, that is a serious psychiatric disorder. It is called "borderline personality disorder". It's a controversial illness in the field of psychiatry, but is included in the DSM IV (R) (the diagnostic manual of all psychiatric disorders). 69% to 75% of individuals with BPD resort to self-destructive behaviors such as self-mutilation, alcohol and drug abuse, serious over or under eating, and suicide attempts to attempt to escape from their emotional turmoil.
Ludikristen
New member
I bite my nails because I like the pain - is that counted?
Seriously, we have branding and cutting here in NZ too, although it was more popular a few years ago. There's a tattooist opposite my favourite cafe who does it, and my ex-bf was gonna get branded before I talked him out of it (I think he actually wanted me to talk him out of it - he wasn't that crazy). Also, the tattooist who does branding and cutting will also suspend you by meat hooks for a small fee, although it works better if you have lots of piercings to attach the hooks to, otherwise they attach it straight to your skin.
If you're wondering how I know all this, I'm not into anything dodgy I swear! :angel2:
~Kristen~
Seriously, we have branding and cutting here in NZ too, although it was more popular a few years ago. There's a tattooist opposite my favourite cafe who does it, and my ex-bf was gonna get branded before I talked him out of it (I think he actually wanted me to talk him out of it - he wasn't that crazy). Also, the tattooist who does branding and cutting will also suspend you by meat hooks for a small fee, although it works better if you have lots of piercings to attach the hooks to, otherwise they attach it straight to your skin.
If you're wondering how I know all this, I'm not into anything dodgy I swear! :angel2:
~Kristen~
uweremyfavoritemistake
New member
Ashoor, people hurting themselves is never for fun. This practice is called SI or self injury .. and they do this for a million of psycological reasons. this is what SI means
self-injury (SI) is the act of physically hurting yourself on purpose without the intent of commiting suicide. It is a method of coping during an emotionally difficult time that helps some people temporarily feel better because they have a way to physically express and release the tension and the pain they hold inside. In other people hurting themselves produces chemical changes in their bodies that make them feel happier and more relaxed.
Five key components -
One, SI is a harmful act done to yourself. Do not mistake lashing out in anger at others as SI.
Two, SI is only done by yourself. If anyone else does something to you that causes pain this is not SI.
Three, an act of SI must include some sort of physical violence. Emotionally punishing yourself (calling yourself a bitch or thinking you're stupid, ugly, etc.) is not SI.
Four, an act of SI is not done with the intention of killing yourself. People who slit their wrists to kill themselves, even though they have harmed their body, are not SI-ing.
Last, SI is done intentionally. Not accidentally, but with the intent purpose of hurting yourself
Also the begining of SI is alot more complicated then we think..
The origin of SI is usually difficult to determine or understand. Many people are unable to remember where they first got the idea of hurting themselves, and when they actually began to SI.
But a small number of people develop SI through observational learning(a process where a person learns a behavior by watching someone else do it). The chances of most people actually seeing another person SI are very slim, but in places such as psychiatric hospitals and prisons the odds are much higher. Remember, the chances of this happening are very small
There are different groups of people who practice SI and are not only people we tend to think would .. like your example of rock band.These groups can consist of -
Gender- Both men and women hurt themselves. More often women are seen with this behavior in a therapist's office, a psychiatric hospital, etc. Wheras more men are seen with SI in prisons.
Age- SI behavior usually begins when a person is a teenager, escalates in a person's twenties, and disappears by their thirties.
Substance Abuse - Many people who SI have histories of drug and alcohol abuse. Often this is because drugs are another method of coping because they can temporarily ease internal pain. But rarely are people under the influence when they SI.
Now the reasoning behind it can be many different sources in a persons life and many different reasons.. these are the most common.
Relief from feelings - Often people hurt themselves to try to relieve intense emotions and feel better. These intense feelings can seem uncontrollable, frightening, and dangerous. When people have them they may think that hurting themselves is the only way to escape these feelings.
People who hurt themselves often are unable to control their emotions. They cannot experience and express them the way most people do: by crying, screaming, yelling, etc. This can be due to a number of reasons.
It may have been unsafe- for psychological or physical reasons- to express your emotions at home, etc. The expression of your emotions may have been ignored, denied, or disputed.
Your parents or people you grew up with may have not been able to express their own emotions in a safe and direct manner. Or if they did express an emotion such as anger they did so through violence. You may have seen people relieve their feelings or depression or anxiety through drug and alcohol use. You may have never been shown how to express feelings in a normal and healthy manner.
You may have seen others SI to release their feelings, and have mimicked them.
People who SI often say that they feel depressed, isolated, alienated, isolated, or frustrated before they SI. This can cause an uncomfortable level of anxiety and torment, which they feel they must escape. SI will lessen these feelings temporarily.
Coping Mechanism - A coping mechanism is a method of coping people use to help them get through difficult times. SI is an extreme method that provides a sense of relief- as you know by lessening physical or psychological feelings. Thy physical damage and pain cause the body to employ its own coping methods to deal with them. SI is a negative coping mechanism because it causes people further harm and puts them in dangerous or uncomfortable situations.
Stopping, Inducing, or Preventing Dissociation - Dissociation is "a psychological state in which the indivual experiences an alteration in consciousness, memory, and sometimes identity." People who experience it may feel detached from their bodies, a floating sensation, or a sense that they are separated from their bodies, watching themselves. Everybody has experienced mild dissociation- for example tuning out when someone is talking to you. But some people use dissociation as a coping mechanism. The dissociative states they may experience sometimes become overwhelming because of how long they last or their intensity. SI is way to reduce, prevent, or stop a dissociative state.
This is how it generally occurs: The extreme anxiety that precedes SI often can cause people to dissociate where physical pain is lessened. Some people welcome their dissociative feelings because they can be a relief from emotional pain. However, other people feel that dissociation is uncomfortable, frightening, or alienating. SI increases self-awareness in these dissociative states and reduce or end it.
There is an extreme form of dissociation which can lead to alterations in identity, known as Dissociative Identity Disorder (formerly Multiple Personality Disorder). For some people with DID SI is a way to gain control, avoid, or end the switching of personalities.
While people SI dissociation block or reduce the feelings of physical pain. This can be very dangerous at times because people lose awareness of how much damage they're inflicting on their bodies. They may hurt themselves more severely than they planned.
After SI-ing the level of dissociation decreases. You may return to a level of normal consciousness so that you might treat your injuries. SI helps you temporarily cope, tolerate, or reduce overwhelming emotions and control your level of dissociation.
Euphoric Feelings - When people SI they, of course, are hurting their bodies. The body responds to the injuries by working to minimize pain and damage and to heal the wound quickly. The brain releases substances called endorphins (has similar effects to morphine) that work as pain-killers when you hurt yourself. Endorphins can also cause a pleasant physical sensation and can become addictive. So, some people SI to produce feelings of euphoria.
You may feel tingling sensations before hurting yourself. Or feel at peace or full of life while you are SI-ing. You may even feel sexually aroused. All these feelings are due to the endorphins.
But the problem is that the body can produce a tolerance to endorphins. The feeling of euphoria won't be as strong in following SI acts. You may even injure yourself more severely to experience the high euphoric feeling you felt during your first SI experience.
Physically Expressing Pain - The physical expression of emotional pain causes some people to achieve certain goals such as:
Evidence (scars, etc.) that you are suffering psychologically. Sometimes people with SI minimize or doubt their internal feelings.
Communication - SI is sometimes used by people to express what they are thinking, feeling, or experiencing to others. By doing this you are more likely to get what you need from family, friends, or others. You might be trying to send out messages such as "I need help," "I hurt," etc. but that is not always the ways others perceive it. They might interpret your SI as "You're crazy," "You're trying to kill yourself," etc. Other people might see you using your SI as manipulation.
Self-Nurturing - For many people SI provides them with a way of nurturing themselves physically when they are unable to do so emotionally. SI is sometimes used to heal yourself. To make the internal pain external so that you may nurture and heal what only used to exist on a psychological level. You are caring for your internal and external scars. The self-care may be the gratifying part of SI.
Often people who SI feel unloved or alone in the world. SI results in a situation where nurturing occurs, and you have to take care of yourself. Some people even have rituals for nurturing themselves after SI-ing.
Self-Punishment - Statistics show that more than half of the people who SI have been abuse physically, sexually, and/or emotionally as children. It is common for people to blame themselves for the abuse or to feel that they "deserve" it. They may have been taught that certain thoughts, feelings, or behaviors deserve punishment. People who SI are often critical of themselves which leads to feelings of condemnation and shame which leads to SI.
Reenacting Previous Abuse - SI can be a way to reenact abuse that took place at an earlier time. You may do it to feel a sense of control, which you didn't have when you were abused. Some people may act out the previous abuse as part of post-traumatic stress during a flashback (an episode where you think you are reexperiencing the abuse). Some individuals with DID have an alter personality that will injure another alter to reenact abuse. Since the personalities are in the same body this is SI.
You may replicate the abuse in exactly the same you were hurt as a child. Or in a slightly different way due to pysical or psychological limitations.
Establishing Control - Control is a necessary part of people's lives. and knowing we have some control is important for mental health. When we feel we are in control we feel better. SI is a way some people use to replicate a sense of control over their own bodies. Episodes of SI might be triggered by overwhelming feelings of depression, alienation, isolation, etc. which are out of your control. By SI-ing you are controlling your emotional states. Also, you may be using SI to control a dissociative state. Thoughts can also be controlled by SI. By changing your behavior, emotions, and physical feelings you affect your thoughts. You may use SI to control your thoughts. So, in SI, a person has control in a situation, over their body, their thoughts, their emotions, and their behaviors. This feeling of control may make a person feel more controlled, at peace, and comfortable.
Remember, not all of these reasons may apply to you or a person you know who SI's. They are just the one's most commonly known.
Eating Disorders - Eating disorders, such as anorexia or bulimia, are common in people who hurt themselves. like SI, eating disorders often have the same psychological effects. Sometimes SI and eating disorders occur simultaneously.
History of Abuse - The majority of people who hurt themselves have suffered physical, sexual, or emotional abuse. But this doesn't mean that everyone who SI's has been abused. Or that everybody who has been abused will start hurting themselves.
History of Psychological Treatment - Often SI-ers seek therapy to discover answers for their behavior. But for most people who hurt themselves psychological treatment does not work out because of several reasons.
First, is because psychologists sometimes ignore SI out of inexperience, ignorance, or feelings of digust. The topic of SI is rarely adressed. Also, mental health professionals rarely ask about SI behavior. These reasons usually make it the SI-ers job to mention their behavior. And because the shame and secrecy people feel because of their behavior they rarely reveal the fact that they SI.
Second, the reactions and strategies for SI by psychologists are often distasteful to the SI-er. They may demand that the SI-er stop hurting themselves or risk being sent to a psychiatric ward or hospital.
Hope this has helped in some way to give you a better understanding
self-injury (SI) is the act of physically hurting yourself on purpose without the intent of commiting suicide. It is a method of coping during an emotionally difficult time that helps some people temporarily feel better because they have a way to physically express and release the tension and the pain they hold inside. In other people hurting themselves produces chemical changes in their bodies that make them feel happier and more relaxed.
Five key components -
One, SI is a harmful act done to yourself. Do not mistake lashing out in anger at others as SI.
Two, SI is only done by yourself. If anyone else does something to you that causes pain this is not SI.
Three, an act of SI must include some sort of physical violence. Emotionally punishing yourself (calling yourself a bitch or thinking you're stupid, ugly, etc.) is not SI.
Four, an act of SI is not done with the intention of killing yourself. People who slit their wrists to kill themselves, even though they have harmed their body, are not SI-ing.
Last, SI is done intentionally. Not accidentally, but with the intent purpose of hurting yourself
Also the begining of SI is alot more complicated then we think..
The origin of SI is usually difficult to determine or understand. Many people are unable to remember where they first got the idea of hurting themselves, and when they actually began to SI.
But a small number of people develop SI through observational learning(a process where a person learns a behavior by watching someone else do it). The chances of most people actually seeing another person SI are very slim, but in places such as psychiatric hospitals and prisons the odds are much higher. Remember, the chances of this happening are very small
There are different groups of people who practice SI and are not only people we tend to think would .. like your example of rock band.These groups can consist of -
Gender- Both men and women hurt themselves. More often women are seen with this behavior in a therapist's office, a psychiatric hospital, etc. Wheras more men are seen with SI in prisons.
Age- SI behavior usually begins when a person is a teenager, escalates in a person's twenties, and disappears by their thirties.
Substance Abuse - Many people who SI have histories of drug and alcohol abuse. Often this is because drugs are another method of coping because they can temporarily ease internal pain. But rarely are people under the influence when they SI.
Now the reasoning behind it can be many different sources in a persons life and many different reasons.. these are the most common.
Relief from feelings - Often people hurt themselves to try to relieve intense emotions and feel better. These intense feelings can seem uncontrollable, frightening, and dangerous. When people have them they may think that hurting themselves is the only way to escape these feelings.
People who hurt themselves often are unable to control their emotions. They cannot experience and express them the way most people do: by crying, screaming, yelling, etc. This can be due to a number of reasons.
It may have been unsafe- for psychological or physical reasons- to express your emotions at home, etc. The expression of your emotions may have been ignored, denied, or disputed.
Your parents or people you grew up with may have not been able to express their own emotions in a safe and direct manner. Or if they did express an emotion such as anger they did so through violence. You may have seen people relieve their feelings or depression or anxiety through drug and alcohol use. You may have never been shown how to express feelings in a normal and healthy manner.
You may have seen others SI to release their feelings, and have mimicked them.
People who SI often say that they feel depressed, isolated, alienated, isolated, or frustrated before they SI. This can cause an uncomfortable level of anxiety and torment, which they feel they must escape. SI will lessen these feelings temporarily.
Coping Mechanism - A coping mechanism is a method of coping people use to help them get through difficult times. SI is an extreme method that provides a sense of relief- as you know by lessening physical or psychological feelings. Thy physical damage and pain cause the body to employ its own coping methods to deal with them. SI is a negative coping mechanism because it causes people further harm and puts them in dangerous or uncomfortable situations.
Stopping, Inducing, or Preventing Dissociation - Dissociation is "a psychological state in which the indivual experiences an alteration in consciousness, memory, and sometimes identity." People who experience it may feel detached from their bodies, a floating sensation, or a sense that they are separated from their bodies, watching themselves. Everybody has experienced mild dissociation- for example tuning out when someone is talking to you. But some people use dissociation as a coping mechanism. The dissociative states they may experience sometimes become overwhelming because of how long they last or their intensity. SI is way to reduce, prevent, or stop a dissociative state.
This is how it generally occurs: The extreme anxiety that precedes SI often can cause people to dissociate where physical pain is lessened. Some people welcome their dissociative feelings because they can be a relief from emotional pain. However, other people feel that dissociation is uncomfortable, frightening, or alienating. SI increases self-awareness in these dissociative states and reduce or end it.
There is an extreme form of dissociation which can lead to alterations in identity, known as Dissociative Identity Disorder (formerly Multiple Personality Disorder). For some people with DID SI is a way to gain control, avoid, or end the switching of personalities.
While people SI dissociation block or reduce the feelings of physical pain. This can be very dangerous at times because people lose awareness of how much damage they're inflicting on their bodies. They may hurt themselves more severely than they planned.
After SI-ing the level of dissociation decreases. You may return to a level of normal consciousness so that you might treat your injuries. SI helps you temporarily cope, tolerate, or reduce overwhelming emotions and control your level of dissociation.
Euphoric Feelings - When people SI they, of course, are hurting their bodies. The body responds to the injuries by working to minimize pain and damage and to heal the wound quickly. The brain releases substances called endorphins (has similar effects to morphine) that work as pain-killers when you hurt yourself. Endorphins can also cause a pleasant physical sensation and can become addictive. So, some people SI to produce feelings of euphoria.
You may feel tingling sensations before hurting yourself. Or feel at peace or full of life while you are SI-ing. You may even feel sexually aroused. All these feelings are due to the endorphins.
But the problem is that the body can produce a tolerance to endorphins. The feeling of euphoria won't be as strong in following SI acts. You may even injure yourself more severely to experience the high euphoric feeling you felt during your first SI experience.
Physically Expressing Pain - The physical expression of emotional pain causes some people to achieve certain goals such as:
Evidence (scars, etc.) that you are suffering psychologically. Sometimes people with SI minimize or doubt their internal feelings.
Communication - SI is sometimes used by people to express what they are thinking, feeling, or experiencing to others. By doing this you are more likely to get what you need from family, friends, or others. You might be trying to send out messages such as "I need help," "I hurt," etc. but that is not always the ways others perceive it. They might interpret your SI as "You're crazy," "You're trying to kill yourself," etc. Other people might see you using your SI as manipulation.
Self-Nurturing - For many people SI provides them with a way of nurturing themselves physically when they are unable to do so emotionally. SI is sometimes used to heal yourself. To make the internal pain external so that you may nurture and heal what only used to exist on a psychological level. You are caring for your internal and external scars. The self-care may be the gratifying part of SI.
Often people who SI feel unloved or alone in the world. SI results in a situation where nurturing occurs, and you have to take care of yourself. Some people even have rituals for nurturing themselves after SI-ing.
Self-Punishment - Statistics show that more than half of the people who SI have been abuse physically, sexually, and/or emotionally as children. It is common for people to blame themselves for the abuse or to feel that they "deserve" it. They may have been taught that certain thoughts, feelings, or behaviors deserve punishment. People who SI are often critical of themselves which leads to feelings of condemnation and shame which leads to SI.
Reenacting Previous Abuse - SI can be a way to reenact abuse that took place at an earlier time. You may do it to feel a sense of control, which you didn't have when you were abused. Some people may act out the previous abuse as part of post-traumatic stress during a flashback (an episode where you think you are reexperiencing the abuse). Some individuals with DID have an alter personality that will injure another alter to reenact abuse. Since the personalities are in the same body this is SI.
You may replicate the abuse in exactly the same you were hurt as a child. Or in a slightly different way due to pysical or psychological limitations.
Establishing Control - Control is a necessary part of people's lives. and knowing we have some control is important for mental health. When we feel we are in control we feel better. SI is a way some people use to replicate a sense of control over their own bodies. Episodes of SI might be triggered by overwhelming feelings of depression, alienation, isolation, etc. which are out of your control. By SI-ing you are controlling your emotional states. Also, you may be using SI to control a dissociative state. Thoughts can also be controlled by SI. By changing your behavior, emotions, and physical feelings you affect your thoughts. You may use SI to control your thoughts. So, in SI, a person has control in a situation, over their body, their thoughts, their emotions, and their behaviors. This feeling of control may make a person feel more controlled, at peace, and comfortable.
Remember, not all of these reasons may apply to you or a person you know who SI's. They are just the one's most commonly known.
Eating Disorders - Eating disorders, such as anorexia or bulimia, are common in people who hurt themselves. like SI, eating disorders often have the same psychological effects. Sometimes SI and eating disorders occur simultaneously.
History of Abuse - The majority of people who hurt themselves have suffered physical, sexual, or emotional abuse. But this doesn't mean that everyone who SI's has been abused. Or that everybody who has been abused will start hurting themselves.
History of Psychological Treatment - Often SI-ers seek therapy to discover answers for their behavior. But for most people who hurt themselves psychological treatment does not work out because of several reasons.
First, is because psychologists sometimes ignore SI out of inexperience, ignorance, or feelings of digust. The topic of SI is rarely adressed. Also, mental health professionals rarely ask about SI behavior. These reasons usually make it the SI-ers job to mention their behavior. And because the shame and secrecy people feel because of their behavior they rarely reveal the fact that they SI.
Second, the reactions and strategies for SI by psychologists are often distasteful to the SI-er. They may demand that the SI-er stop hurting themselves or risk being sent to a psychiatric ward or hospital.
Hope this has helped in some way to give you a better understanding
uweremyfavoritemistake
New member
A psychological model is used to explain complex ideas in a simpler way. These models are made up of concepts ("concepts that represent the inner workings of a behavior, thouught, idea or feeling--things that can't really be seen.") Psychological models help us to understand "their subject as a whole."
There are several models used by psychologists to better understand the "nature and cycle" of self-injury. Each of these models have some validity but use your own "experiences to judge the accuracy of each model as it applies to you."
The Addiction Model - The first model of self-injury has many similarities to models used to explain various addictions, such as substance use, eating disorders, etc.
Negative Emotions - Negative emotions usually begin the self-injury cycle. These negative feelings may come from a large number of sources and tend to fall into three categories.
Anger, hostility, and frustration
Alienation, isolation, disconnection, rejection, and loneliness
Sadness, depression, and simply feeling bad
Most often these feelings are experienced as overwhelming, uncontrollable, or fragmenting ("a feeling of being scattered or not whole"). These uncontrollable feelings make you want to find a way to feel better fast. Event thought the lasting effects of self-injury may be "extremely detrimental in the long term," SI does provide a short-term yet effective way of overcoming these strong emotions.
Tension - Once you decide to hurt yourself you may change to a emotional state of tension and anxiety. So, even though you may have started out as feeling angry and frustrated, depressed, etc.; now you are dealing with feelings of tension and anxiety. Part of the tension stems from the anticipation of hurting yourself. Once you start thinking of hurting yourself, you begin to anticipate the actual act of self-injury.
"Because you SI may be either desired or undesired, or both, your anticipation may contain elements of excitement and/or anxiety, either of which will make you feel tension." The feeling excitement before self-injury comes from the fact that SI can produce feelings of euphoria and relief. So, while anticipating hurting yourself you may feel a type of stress called eustress, which is "stress or tension coming from a positively viewed source." However, you may also feel fear or anxiety when you anticipate an act of self-injury. You may feel that you need to hurt yourself, but you don't want to. Or you may feel anxious about the danger of hurting yourself or because you feel you are unable to control your emotions like most other people. You might even see self-injury as a last resort, an attempt "to retain a sense of sanity."
Dissociation - This is the next stage of the Self-Injury cycle. Dissociation comes directly from the high tension level produced by strong and overwhelming emotions. Dissociation serves dual purposes: to act as a coping mechanism, and to allow you to withstand intense emotional and physical pain, reduce your experience of tension and masks the physical pain caused by self-injury.
The Self-Injury Act - During this stage you are engaging in self-injury. Cutting, hitting, burning, bruising, pulling hair, excessive scratching, etc. are the common self-injury behaviors. At this stage dissociation is usually at its hightest, masking the experience of physical pain. Also, at this time endorphins are being released, helping dissociation in limiting how much pain you can feel. It is the combination of endorphins and dissociation that allows some people to hurt themselves with a surprising lack of physical discomfort.
Positive Effects - Immediately after the act of self-injury comes a sense of relief. The endorphins that were released during self-injury are still present, allowing you to feel a sense of euphoria (joy and calmness) and well-being. Also, the act of SI has allowed you to change your negative feelings into something physical and controllable. "By performing and then nurturing the self-injury, you have turned a negative psychological state into something manageable, regaining control over your emotional and physical states. It is the effectiveness of this coping mechanism that allows SI to provide such a strong and necessary sense of temporary relief and freedom from psychological distress."
Negative Effects - One of the problems with self-injury as a coping mechanism is that its effects are only temporary. Once the endorphins dissipate and the consequences of hurting yourself become clear, you may experience feelings of guilt, shame, and remorse. Also, the negative feelings you experienced before hurting yourself may come back at this point or shortly therafter. So, as a result of self-injury, you may feel even worse than you did before hurting yourself. And these negative emotions can be the beginnings of another act of self-injury.
The Operant Conditioning Model - The second psychological model used to explain self-injury is operant conditioning. "Operant conditioning states that what happens following a behavior (the consequences) influences the likelihood of that behavior reoccuring. According to this theory behaviors followed by positive outcomes (reinforcers) will be strengthened, wheras behaviors followed by negative outcomes (punishments). This theory of learning and behavior is called Thorndike's Law of Effect."
Basically this says that the consequences of an act of self-injury will affect the chances that you will hurt yourself in the future. For example, if you hurt yourself and it made you feel better, then there are better chances that you would hurt yourself again. On the other hand, if you hurt yourself and it hurt a lot more than you expected, you will less likely hurt yourself again in the future.
Reinforcement - Reinforcement is a psychological term that basically means the same thing as reward. When you experience reinforcement, you recieve a reward or pleasurable consequence for a behavior. Reinforcement makes the chances of you repeating a behavior much more likely.
Reinforcers can be both positive and negative, but they are always rewards or pleasurable consequences. In this case positive and negative does not necessarily mean good and bad, the definitions are slightly different. Positive reinforcement "means to provide a consequence that is desired." Self-Injury produces several positive reinforcers: the feeling of euphoria produced by the endorphins, self-nurturing of wounds, physical expression of feelings. Because of the many rewards and positive consequences your SI behavior is likely to be strengthened.
The second type of consequence that strengthens behavior is Negative reinforcers. The definition for negative, in talking about operant conditioning, is the removal of something. This is the exact opposite or receiving something or a positive reward. Negative reinforcement occurs when something that is not wanted is taken away or lessened, thus strengthening the behavior that takes away or lessens the unwanted thing. For, example, if your SI behavior removes or lessens negative feelings you are experiencing, then the chances of you using that behavior again are more likely. SI often removes negative feelings, or ends or lessens dissociative states that are not wanted. Because self-injury does so well at doing this, these are part of negative reinforcement.
All of these reinforcements, whether positive or negative, help strengthen the chances the self-injury will occur again.
Punishment - When a behavior causes a consequence that you don't like, then it's called a punishment. A punishment, the exact opposite of a reinforcement, lessens the chances of a behavior reoccuring. But, like reinforcement, it can be both positive and negative. Positive punishment is when something unwanted presented. Negative punishment is when something you enjoy or want is taken away from you.
Both positive and negative punishments lessen the chances that you will repeat the behavior. Self-Injury has positive and negative punishments. Forms of it's positive punishments are unwanted scars or wounds and feelings of shame, regret, etc. Forms of its negative punishments are slightly different and are not as obvious. For example: you may wear long sleeves or pants to hide your scars, so SI is keeping you from going swimming or wearing more comfortable clothes. SI may also "reduce the honesty, pride, and connection with others you experience. Because these desired things are removed or reduced by your self-injurious activities, those activities are exerting a negatively punishing consequence.
The meaning of all this, that self-injury produces reinforcing and punishing consequences, will be explained. Consequences that occur immediately after, during, or even before a behavior are the one's that make the best impression of your behavior and its future. In the "Addiction Model of SI" you learned that before, during, and after an act of self-injury you feel better, endorphins are released, etc. These are all reinforcements. It is not until later that you experience physical pain, feelings of shame, etc. which are punishment. So, because the reinforcing consequences are felt initially before, during, and after self-injury the chances that SI will recur is great.
Opponent Process Theory - "Opponent process theory states that a reaction to an even will automatically produce the opposite reaction." "Feelings of great tension and fear before SI are later replaced by the opposite emotional state, relaxation and peace, the opponent process of relief."
As you continue to hurt yourself you begin to expect the sense of relief. And because you have learned to expect this feeling, you may begin to enjoy hurting yourself. You may even begin instigating negative feelings or situations so that you will self-injure.
Observational Learning - Observational learning is when we do what we see. It is a known fact that we learn by watching others. And if we see a person engaging in a behavior that appears to have positive consequences, we may try that behavior ourselves. And, when we see someone engagin in a behavior that has negative consequences, we are less likely to try that behavior.
This model of learning can be applied to self-injury. For example: you see someone in great emotional pain, you watch this person hurt themself, and then you see the great relief they get from this behavior. You may even see this person get additional attention from other people or get treated in a desirable way. So, the next time you are in great emotional pain, you may remember the incident you witnessed, and may try to hurt yourself.
If you have ever been in a "confined setting such as a psychiatric ward of a hospital or a prison you may have seen others use SI." You may have even copied the behavior you saw and began hurting yourself. Within these confined environements copying or "modeling" of behavior can and does happen, which spreads the occurences of SI. (Let me interrupt: At the hospital I met a girl who started hurting herself because she was copying a friend she had met at a hospital who had been a cutter.)
If you have never been in any of these setting the chances of you seeing another person hurt themselves are very small. This is because SI usually happens in isolation and is a secretive behavior. However, even though you never saw anyone hurt themselves, you may have been exposed to SI in a less direct or obvious way. You reaction to these events would also "influence the chance that you would hurt yourself."
Psychodynamic Explanations - "The psychodynamic perspective of pychology basically states that behavior stems from hidden forces within our personalities. According to thus theory, our actions are strongly influenced by those thoughts and feelings that remain hidden beneath our conscious awareness."
This psychological model is general, and explains how and why self-injury occurs. These ideas may be useful for some people, but overall many people may not find it helpful. And many people may not agree with them.
There are many psychodynamic explanations for self-injury, but only a few are discussed here.
Suicide - One psychodynamic explanation is that self-injury is a form of partial suicide, that self-injury is a wish to die, and an act of it is a botched suicide attempt. This may be true in a small number of cases, but generally suicide is not a goal of an act of self-injury. Actually, many people use it as a coping mechanism, a way of staying alive. It is possible to cause severe injuries during an act of SI, but usually these are accidental, not being the goal of SI.
Depression - Another psychodynamic explanation is that self-injury is an action rooted in depression. Another theory is that depression is anger directed at one's self. So, this says that SI is an intense expression of this anger.
Another psychodynamic theory of depression is a sense of helplessness or hopelessness. You choose to hurt yourself because you feel unable to direct your anger towards others or "a direct expression of your anger would be futile or useless. Consequently, you choose to injure yourself to express and release the anger that stems from your helplessness."
Reintegration - Another basic psychodynamic explanation is that self-injury is a method of reintegrating your sense of physical being. Before you hurt yourself you may feel fragmented, zoned out, or not all there. Self-Injury allows you to "physically reconnect to yourself as a whole, unique, living being.
There are several models used by psychologists to better understand the "nature and cycle" of self-injury. Each of these models have some validity but use your own "experiences to judge the accuracy of each model as it applies to you."
The Addiction Model - The first model of self-injury has many similarities to models used to explain various addictions, such as substance use, eating disorders, etc.
Negative Emotions - Negative emotions usually begin the self-injury cycle. These negative feelings may come from a large number of sources and tend to fall into three categories.
Anger, hostility, and frustration
Alienation, isolation, disconnection, rejection, and loneliness
Sadness, depression, and simply feeling bad
Most often these feelings are experienced as overwhelming, uncontrollable, or fragmenting ("a feeling of being scattered or not whole"). These uncontrollable feelings make you want to find a way to feel better fast. Event thought the lasting effects of self-injury may be "extremely detrimental in the long term," SI does provide a short-term yet effective way of overcoming these strong emotions.
Tension - Once you decide to hurt yourself you may change to a emotional state of tension and anxiety. So, even though you may have started out as feeling angry and frustrated, depressed, etc.; now you are dealing with feelings of tension and anxiety. Part of the tension stems from the anticipation of hurting yourself. Once you start thinking of hurting yourself, you begin to anticipate the actual act of self-injury.
"Because you SI may be either desired or undesired, or both, your anticipation may contain elements of excitement and/or anxiety, either of which will make you feel tension." The feeling excitement before self-injury comes from the fact that SI can produce feelings of euphoria and relief. So, while anticipating hurting yourself you may feel a type of stress called eustress, which is "stress or tension coming from a positively viewed source." However, you may also feel fear or anxiety when you anticipate an act of self-injury. You may feel that you need to hurt yourself, but you don't want to. Or you may feel anxious about the danger of hurting yourself or because you feel you are unable to control your emotions like most other people. You might even see self-injury as a last resort, an attempt "to retain a sense of sanity."
Dissociation - This is the next stage of the Self-Injury cycle. Dissociation comes directly from the high tension level produced by strong and overwhelming emotions. Dissociation serves dual purposes: to act as a coping mechanism, and to allow you to withstand intense emotional and physical pain, reduce your experience of tension and masks the physical pain caused by self-injury.
The Self-Injury Act - During this stage you are engaging in self-injury. Cutting, hitting, burning, bruising, pulling hair, excessive scratching, etc. are the common self-injury behaviors. At this stage dissociation is usually at its hightest, masking the experience of physical pain. Also, at this time endorphins are being released, helping dissociation in limiting how much pain you can feel. It is the combination of endorphins and dissociation that allows some people to hurt themselves with a surprising lack of physical discomfort.
Positive Effects - Immediately after the act of self-injury comes a sense of relief. The endorphins that were released during self-injury are still present, allowing you to feel a sense of euphoria (joy and calmness) and well-being. Also, the act of SI has allowed you to change your negative feelings into something physical and controllable. "By performing and then nurturing the self-injury, you have turned a negative psychological state into something manageable, regaining control over your emotional and physical states. It is the effectiveness of this coping mechanism that allows SI to provide such a strong and necessary sense of temporary relief and freedom from psychological distress."
Negative Effects - One of the problems with self-injury as a coping mechanism is that its effects are only temporary. Once the endorphins dissipate and the consequences of hurting yourself become clear, you may experience feelings of guilt, shame, and remorse. Also, the negative feelings you experienced before hurting yourself may come back at this point or shortly therafter. So, as a result of self-injury, you may feel even worse than you did before hurting yourself. And these negative emotions can be the beginnings of another act of self-injury.
The Operant Conditioning Model - The second psychological model used to explain self-injury is operant conditioning. "Operant conditioning states that what happens following a behavior (the consequences) influences the likelihood of that behavior reoccuring. According to this theory behaviors followed by positive outcomes (reinforcers) will be strengthened, wheras behaviors followed by negative outcomes (punishments). This theory of learning and behavior is called Thorndike's Law of Effect."
Basically this says that the consequences of an act of self-injury will affect the chances that you will hurt yourself in the future. For example, if you hurt yourself and it made you feel better, then there are better chances that you would hurt yourself again. On the other hand, if you hurt yourself and it hurt a lot more than you expected, you will less likely hurt yourself again in the future.
Reinforcement - Reinforcement is a psychological term that basically means the same thing as reward. When you experience reinforcement, you recieve a reward or pleasurable consequence for a behavior. Reinforcement makes the chances of you repeating a behavior much more likely.
Reinforcers can be both positive and negative, but they are always rewards or pleasurable consequences. In this case positive and negative does not necessarily mean good and bad, the definitions are slightly different. Positive reinforcement "means to provide a consequence that is desired." Self-Injury produces several positive reinforcers: the feeling of euphoria produced by the endorphins, self-nurturing of wounds, physical expression of feelings. Because of the many rewards and positive consequences your SI behavior is likely to be strengthened.
The second type of consequence that strengthens behavior is Negative reinforcers. The definition for negative, in talking about operant conditioning, is the removal of something. This is the exact opposite or receiving something or a positive reward. Negative reinforcement occurs when something that is not wanted is taken away or lessened, thus strengthening the behavior that takes away or lessens the unwanted thing. For, example, if your SI behavior removes or lessens negative feelings you are experiencing, then the chances of you using that behavior again are more likely. SI often removes negative feelings, or ends or lessens dissociative states that are not wanted. Because self-injury does so well at doing this, these are part of negative reinforcement.
All of these reinforcements, whether positive or negative, help strengthen the chances the self-injury will occur again.
Punishment - When a behavior causes a consequence that you don't like, then it's called a punishment. A punishment, the exact opposite of a reinforcement, lessens the chances of a behavior reoccuring. But, like reinforcement, it can be both positive and negative. Positive punishment is when something unwanted presented. Negative punishment is when something you enjoy or want is taken away from you.
Both positive and negative punishments lessen the chances that you will repeat the behavior. Self-Injury has positive and negative punishments. Forms of it's positive punishments are unwanted scars or wounds and feelings of shame, regret, etc. Forms of its negative punishments are slightly different and are not as obvious. For example: you may wear long sleeves or pants to hide your scars, so SI is keeping you from going swimming or wearing more comfortable clothes. SI may also "reduce the honesty, pride, and connection with others you experience. Because these desired things are removed or reduced by your self-injurious activities, those activities are exerting a negatively punishing consequence.
The meaning of all this, that self-injury produces reinforcing and punishing consequences, will be explained. Consequences that occur immediately after, during, or even before a behavior are the one's that make the best impression of your behavior and its future. In the "Addiction Model of SI" you learned that before, during, and after an act of self-injury you feel better, endorphins are released, etc. These are all reinforcements. It is not until later that you experience physical pain, feelings of shame, etc. which are punishment. So, because the reinforcing consequences are felt initially before, during, and after self-injury the chances that SI will recur is great.
Opponent Process Theory - "Opponent process theory states that a reaction to an even will automatically produce the opposite reaction." "Feelings of great tension and fear before SI are later replaced by the opposite emotional state, relaxation and peace, the opponent process of relief."
As you continue to hurt yourself you begin to expect the sense of relief. And because you have learned to expect this feeling, you may begin to enjoy hurting yourself. You may even begin instigating negative feelings or situations so that you will self-injure.
Observational Learning - Observational learning is when we do what we see. It is a known fact that we learn by watching others. And if we see a person engaging in a behavior that appears to have positive consequences, we may try that behavior ourselves. And, when we see someone engagin in a behavior that has negative consequences, we are less likely to try that behavior.
This model of learning can be applied to self-injury. For example: you see someone in great emotional pain, you watch this person hurt themself, and then you see the great relief they get from this behavior. You may even see this person get additional attention from other people or get treated in a desirable way. So, the next time you are in great emotional pain, you may remember the incident you witnessed, and may try to hurt yourself.
If you have ever been in a "confined setting such as a psychiatric ward of a hospital or a prison you may have seen others use SI." You may have even copied the behavior you saw and began hurting yourself. Within these confined environements copying or "modeling" of behavior can and does happen, which spreads the occurences of SI. (Let me interrupt: At the hospital I met a girl who started hurting herself because she was copying a friend she had met at a hospital who had been a cutter.)
If you have never been in any of these setting the chances of you seeing another person hurt themselves are very small. This is because SI usually happens in isolation and is a secretive behavior. However, even though you never saw anyone hurt themselves, you may have been exposed to SI in a less direct or obvious way. You reaction to these events would also "influence the chance that you would hurt yourself."
Psychodynamic Explanations - "The psychodynamic perspective of pychology basically states that behavior stems from hidden forces within our personalities. According to thus theory, our actions are strongly influenced by those thoughts and feelings that remain hidden beneath our conscious awareness."
This psychological model is general, and explains how and why self-injury occurs. These ideas may be useful for some people, but overall many people may not find it helpful. And many people may not agree with them.
There are many psychodynamic explanations for self-injury, but only a few are discussed here.
Suicide - One psychodynamic explanation is that self-injury is a form of partial suicide, that self-injury is a wish to die, and an act of it is a botched suicide attempt. This may be true in a small number of cases, but generally suicide is not a goal of an act of self-injury. Actually, many people use it as a coping mechanism, a way of staying alive. It is possible to cause severe injuries during an act of SI, but usually these are accidental, not being the goal of SI.
Depression - Another psychodynamic explanation is that self-injury is an action rooted in depression. Another theory is that depression is anger directed at one's self. So, this says that SI is an intense expression of this anger.
Another psychodynamic theory of depression is a sense of helplessness or hopelessness. You choose to hurt yourself because you feel unable to direct your anger towards others or "a direct expression of your anger would be futile or useless. Consequently, you choose to injure yourself to express and release the anger that stems from your helplessness."
Reintegration - Another basic psychodynamic explanation is that self-injury is a method of reintegrating your sense of physical being. Before you hurt yourself you may feel fragmented, zoned out, or not all there. Self-Injury allows you to "physically reconnect to yourself as a whole, unique, living being.
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other psychological factors influence Self-Injury-
Other factors influence, result from, and are related to Self-Injury. Some of these factors may contribute to your desire to hurt yourself, such as remembering traumatic events from your past. There are factors produced by self-injury such as feelings of shame and embarrassment. And some factors, such as eating disorders or substance abuse, coexist with self-injury.
It can be difficult to understand the different types of relationships other factors have with SI. They can be distinct problems, that coexist, but don't have any influence on each other. Or one factor may cause or encourage another factor. Or both the factors may be related and are part of a greater problem.
It's evident that the ways factors relate to each other can get a bit confusing. In your case, you may find that certain factors, such as trauma and an eating disorder, have any or all of types of relationships with self-injury. So, SI can influence (or be influenced), coexist with, and/or relate to other psychological disorders.
Trauma - A huge number of individual with self-injury have suffered some form of childhood abuse. "Significant correlations exist between both sexual and physical forms of childhood violence and SI. Other violence within the home has also been determined to be related to self-injury, as has emotional abuse." SI has also been linked to having witnessed or been part of ritual abuse. "The short- and long-term effects of abuse are far reaching and severe, impacting emotions, memories, relationships, self-esteem, behaviors, and even identity."
In some ways self-injury may be a reaction to abuse. "If you have endured and survived trauma or abuse, you can attest to the horror of these events." During episodes of abuse you have probably felt feelings of violation, helplessness, and powerlessness- as if you have little or no control over your environment or even your own body. You may be confused by the way in which you were treated. You may have felt even guilty. The psychological effects of trauma are so intense and severe that it became essential that you find a way to cope. Self-Injury may have helped you cope or deal with the aftereffects of your past traumatic experiences by giving you a way to escape negative feelings and to feel in control for once.
SI can be used for many uses. It may be a way of recreating some of the abuse you went through or witnessed as a child, allowing you to reenact the trauma through self-injury. Recreating previous traumatic experiences can be used as a way to symbolically alter the original course of the abuse, becuase when you hurt yourself, you are the one in control. This feeling of control can help change your reaction to these past abuses. By hurting yourself to recreate trauma, you are able to change from a situation where you felt helpless and powerless to one where you were in complete control, and had complete power.
Self-injury may also be used to relieve psychological tension. This extreme form of tension may directly result from past traumas ("as in the case of memories or flashbacks") or may indirectly result from past traumas ("such as an extreme reaction to loss or isolation"). You may experience moments when you are unable to get rid of painful images or memories of the trauma. At these times you may use self-injury as a way to get rid of these overwhelming memories.
Abuse and trauma both have so many related consequences, it is likely that you have used self-injury to cope with some of these. For example: if the people who were hurting you were the people who were the closest to you, you would not have been able to trust them. Or, because of the abuse you may have had to keep secrets from other friends and family members, which also interferes with your ability to connect with other people. You may also have used SI as away to lessen emotional pain related to the abuse. The lack of connection with other people, and the difficulty in trusting fosters the same feelings that lead to self-injury. "Because of the patterns set up in your abusive past, you may used SI to both replicate these patterns as well as control and relieve the accompanying intense emotional pain."
Boundaries - An area that is damaged by abuse, especially sexual abuse, is that of boundaries. "Boundaries are limits we place on ourselves and others that hlp us to maintain our sense of separateness and independence." When we are children we learn to separate ourselves from other people and to experience ourselves as a single, independent human being. A part of learning boundaries is determining what is ours and what is not ours. One of the things that children own is their body, they learn to believe that it is their own, and that no one else is allowed to touch, use, or disturb it without permission. These rules, or boundaries are often carried into adulthood. But children who have been abused often are not allowed or haven't had the chance to learn their boundaries. "Sexual or physical abuse leads to confusion over these very basic rules of ownership." Children who have been abused may learn that their body is to be hurt and abused or manipulated by others. They learn that their bodies are not their own. Their boundaries are variable or nonexistant.
Self-Injury allows people to experience their body as their own. In some way, it helps "illuminate or restore some basic boundaries lost due to childhood trauma."Hurting yourself may make you feel more real, more separate, more whole. You are the person who is hurting yourself. You are the one who is changing your body. "You, and you alone, are in charge of your body."
Dissociation - Dissociation is a big part of self-injury. But dissocation is also related to trauma or abuse. To survive abuse situations some people have to use dissociation as a tool. Dissociating from the physical or emotional pain may have helped you cope with the trauma. But, as an adult you have difficulty in regulating your dissociative states. SI is an effective way to control dissociation, letting you enter or end a dissociative state.
Eating Disorders - The relationship between SI and eating disorders is interesting and complex. Research has shown that most women who hurt themselves also have some type of eating disorder.
There are many types of eating disorder, but as of yet only two are recognized by the American Psychiatric Association as distinct and diagnosable problems: anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa. Anorexia nervosa is when an individual starves themselves to make themselves thin, resulting in body weight that is significantly lower than what is considered normal for that person's age and height. People with anorexia often have distorted views of their body shape and size. Bulimics, unlike anorexics who are extremely underweight, generally weigh within the normal range for their age and height. They engage in episodes of binging, or eating huge amounts of food while experiencing a feeling of lack of control over food intake, and some bulimics also purge, eliminate the food they ate by making themselves throw up, using laxatives, exercising excessively, or using another method. Fad diets and compulsive eating may also be considered as types of eating disorders.
As in SI, childhood trauma has often been experienced by those with eating disorders. An estimated one-third of people with eating disorders have experienced some type of trauma as a child. like SI, eating disorders may be a coping mechanism where you gain control. But there are many other factors that can lead to the development of an eating disorder. But this represents the most frequent roots of eating disorders.
Dissociation is also more common is people with eating disorders. If you have an eating disorder you may experience dissociative states similar to the ones felt when you hurt yourself. Actually, the overall pattern of an eating disorder is similar to that of self-injury. The cycle of bulimia is similar to the "Addiction Model". Negative emotions produce a state of tension, which leads to a state of dissociation, which then lead to an act of binging or purging, which then induces feelings of euphoria, which dissipates and leads to feeling of guilt, shame, or regret. Then the cycle continues.
If you have an eating disorder you may alternate between self-injury and the eating disorder. Or the two may occur simultaneously. Both may be used as a way of coping with great internal pain. And both can provide a way to relieve or release tension, a way to communicate to others your emotional state, to control dissociative states, and to physically express your internal pain. Eating disorders and self-injury have a great deal in common.
Trauma ------------> Dissociation -------------> Eating Disorder or Self-injury
Trauma or abuse leads to a tendency to dissociate, a coping mechanism that may have been crucial to survive the event physically and psychologically. The dissociation can, but doesn't always, lead to an eating disorder behavior or self-injury or both. Trauma is the common source for both these behaviors "and is responsible for the apparent relationship between eating disorders and self-injury. This does not mean that everyone that experiences trauma or that is abused will develop an eating disorder, or develop SI. And eating disorders and self-injury can develop without the presence of trauma. "It seems that both of these behaviors, while often stemming from common sources, also provide similar functions as coping mechanisms."
Substance Abuse - Substance abuse can mean the abuse of any drug (over-the-counter, prescription, or illegal), which includes alcohol, nicotine, and caffeine. These substances may be inhaled, ingested, or injected. It includes chemicals that are purposely inhaled with the intention of getting high.
Substance-related disorders is the general term that includes a wide variety of specific uses of substances and pattern of involvement with them. The terms that refer to the different degrees or impact that drugs have or your life are: substance use, substance abuse, and substance dependence. Also, the drugs may cause many side effects, such as imsomnia and brain damage, that lead to other problems. like self-injury, drugs are used to change our psychological or physical state. SI is typically used to change the way you feel: to decrease tension, increase euphoria, or alter you state of dissociation. And in this way, self-injury has similar effects to some drugs. Even though the two may serve a similar function they are not closely related.
Many people begin and continue using drugs as a way of regulating their moods. When you feel angry, or depressed, you may wish you had a way to change how you feel. Drugs do this effectively, although they have a large number of sometimes dangerous or lethal side effects. Many of us use one chemical or another at a time to regulate our moods and physical state.
The use of substances such as caffeine, alcohol, and/or nicotine is widely accepted by society and is more common than the use of other drugs, such as marijuana, cocaine, etc. Most of us have a type of substance to help us get through the day. However, most of these substances are legal and "culturally sanctioned," which makes them more difficult to identify, accept, understand, or recognize as a problem.
The relationship between self-injury and substance abuse has not been identified or understood very well. In part, this is because a lot of substance abuse goes unrecognized. You probably don't think of yourself as a drug addict, or dependent on drugs. And you may not even realize that you are changing your state of being with chemicals, such as drinking coffee to stay awake in class or at work.
Most people who hurt themselves do not use or abuse illegal substances. Fewer than one-third of people who hurt themselves have ever tried street drugs. In fact, the majority of acts of self-injury do not occur under the influence of any substance, legal or illegal. The reason for this is that substances and self-injury are both short-term ways of coping. Different people have different ways of coping. And some ways work better than others on different occassions. Using drugs and hurting yourself at the same time is unnecessary because both present a temporarily effective way to cope. If you have found something that works you don't need to use another coping mechanism because the immediate problem is solved.
Suicide - Suicide is the ending of life. Chronic feelings of depression and anxiety can lead to someone deciding to end their life. Suicide is often the result of overwhelming feelings of hopelessness and helplessness and of great psychological discomfort. In some cases the psychological pain comes from overwhelming and enescapable physical pain, as in the case of the terminally ill. Suicide is used to end psychological pain, people who attempt or succeed in killing themselves are not looking for a way to adapt to their psychological state. "In contrast, self-injury is used to cope--to adapt to severe psychological discomfort.
SI is not used to make life-threatening injuries. You hurt yourself so you can feel better. This is a goal that is infinitely different from that of suicide, which is to feel nothing at all. "The means, intent, and often the result of self-injurious acts are vastly different than those of suicide. Self-injury is not a mild form of suicide, nor is it a suicide attept gone awry. Instead, SI is a means of coping during a time of intense or overwhelming distress.
Borderline Personality Disorder - Of the large variety of psychiatric diagnoses self-injury is most often associated with borderline personality disorder (BPD). Borderline Personality Disorder is the only psychological diagnosis that specifically identifies self-injury as a criteria for diagnosis, with the exceptions of trichotillomania (the pulling out of hair) and sexual masochism (which can involve SI activities). Because of this some psychologists might diagnose some self-injurers with borderline personality disorder, only because of this one behavior. Because of the lack of diagnoses you may have been incorrectly diagnosed with BPD.
Borderline personality disorder has many criteria for diagnoses other than self-injury. "Personality disorders---whether borderline or another type---are characterized by long-term patterns of behavior that leads the person to feel distressed or impaired in some matter. Usually these patterns of behavior will affect functioning in several areas of life, including employment or school, social relationships, and/or personal well-being. In general terms, BPD is characterized by chronic, intense instability and chaos. This instability can present itself in the realms of identity, relationships, moods, and impulsivity."
People with BPD fluctuate between extremes. Unlike most people, people with BPD view the world in terms of black-and-white, all-or-nothing experience. They usually feel life is either great or terrible, effortless, or hopeless; but nothing in the middle of these two extremes.
Also, people with BPD do things to undermine their own success. Just before completion, goals are thrown aside. Graduation, relationships, and promotion may be tossed aside before successful completion. Behaviors that are self-defeating such as substance abuse, overspending, and physical altercations are common.
Lives of people with borderline personality disorder are chaotic. When life gets too calm or stable, they will begin to experience feelings of tension, vulnerability, and anxiety. Rather than experience these negative feelings they will seek out new chaos. So their life is a cycle of creating and repairing chaotic situations.
For people with BPD self-injury is a direct response to overwhelming psychological pain. It is a way of relieving and releasing intense emotions they experience at calm times in their lives. Also, SI is a way of releasing the feelings of fright they get from thoughts, memories, and emotions during their moments of calm. It also keeps these feelings at bay. Dissociation that may come with the self-injury may end those overwhelming emotional states.
Also, the injuries produced by self-injury are another chaos to focus on for those with BPD. These wound allow the attention of the person to be transferred from the original, distressing emotions to the new emotions and experiences that stem directly from the self-injury. Basically, self-injury plays a complex and interesting role within people with borderline personality disorder. "Self-injury, for a variety of reasons, acts as an agent for producing internal states which are better able to be tolerated.
Dissociative Identity Disorder - Formerly called multiple personality disorder (MPD), dissociative identity disorder (DID) occurs when a person has two or more individual and complete personalities. Each of these identities, or as they are commonly known, alters, has its own personality, it's own memories, it's own style of thoughts, it's own history and temperament. And some of these personalities may be unaware of the presence of the others; and other personalities are aware of and communicate with other different and distinct personalities. An estimated half (only roughly estimated) of people with dissociative identity disorder have between two and ten alters or personalities.
In some ways a person with DID is sort of like an extended family, except that it is a family that is inside of only one individual. "Each of the 'family members' has a distinct personality with particular strengths and weaknesses. One family member may be very artistic, one may excel at business, one may be depressed, one anxious, one angry. There may be children, adults, and adolescents. Some family members may be male, some female, some heterosexual, and some homosexual. Within the family, some of the members may communicate well with each other, some may communicate ineffectively, and some may not communicate with each other at all."
Dissociative Identity Disorder generally occurs in individuals who experienced intense trauma and abuse as a child, often trauma that began before the age of three. Severe physical and sexual abuse is often experienced by those with DID. Also, ritual abuse is associated with dissociative identity disorder.
Dissociation is the psychological mechanism that allows someone to form and maintain different personalities. Since both abuse and dissociation are often connected with self-injury, it is not uncommon for dissociative identity disorder to coexist with SI.
Self-injury serves many purposes for people with DID. In addition to the usual large variety of functions that SI serves, "it has particular applications among individuals with dissociative identity disorder." First, is the ability to control dissociation. Since high levels of dissociation often occur in dissociative identity disorder, control is important.
Sometimes SI is used to prevent another alter or personality from emerging. The physical feelings of self-injury may be enought reminder of reality to keep some personalities from coming out.
SI can also be used to induce the emergence of a certain personality. One personality may be in such physical or emotional pain that they need someone else to take over. This can be either purposeful or accidental.
Also, violence can occur between different alters. Many indivuals with DID have one alter that is angry, violent, and abusive. This identity may take its anger out on another alters- which in reality are their own physical selves.
Self-injury also occurs because of dialogue between different identities. Sometimes, one identity will produce and internal voice that directs another identity to hurt her- or himself. Depending on the strength of this alter, this may lead to an episode of self-injury.
Because of the high level of dissociation associated with DID it is not uncommon for an alter to find wounds they cannot remember causing. The inability to remember may actually be as disturbing as the actual injury. A common characteristic of this disorder is the inability to recall important events or information. This inability to remember may lead to feelings of anger and frustration, helplessness, and despair. And, as you probably know, these are often feelings that cause an episode of self-injury. "Thus the severity of the dissociation involved with dissociative identity disorder, as well as both the causes and results of this dissociation, will affect the likelihood of SI activities and sometimes the extent of the injuries also."
DID is an extreme and complex type of psychological problem. If you know or suspect that you have dissociative identity disorder, and you want help with that or your SI, it would be best for you to seek professional help so you can treat the root of these issues.
Other factors influence, result from, and are related to Self-Injury. Some of these factors may contribute to your desire to hurt yourself, such as remembering traumatic events from your past. There are factors produced by self-injury such as feelings of shame and embarrassment. And some factors, such as eating disorders or substance abuse, coexist with self-injury.
It can be difficult to understand the different types of relationships other factors have with SI. They can be distinct problems, that coexist, but don't have any influence on each other. Or one factor may cause or encourage another factor. Or both the factors may be related and are part of a greater problem.
It's evident that the ways factors relate to each other can get a bit confusing. In your case, you may find that certain factors, such as trauma and an eating disorder, have any or all of types of relationships with self-injury. So, SI can influence (or be influenced), coexist with, and/or relate to other psychological disorders.
Trauma - A huge number of individual with self-injury have suffered some form of childhood abuse. "Significant correlations exist between both sexual and physical forms of childhood violence and SI. Other violence within the home has also been determined to be related to self-injury, as has emotional abuse." SI has also been linked to having witnessed or been part of ritual abuse. "The short- and long-term effects of abuse are far reaching and severe, impacting emotions, memories, relationships, self-esteem, behaviors, and even identity."
In some ways self-injury may be a reaction to abuse. "If you have endured and survived trauma or abuse, you can attest to the horror of these events." During episodes of abuse you have probably felt feelings of violation, helplessness, and powerlessness- as if you have little or no control over your environment or even your own body. You may be confused by the way in which you were treated. You may have felt even guilty. The psychological effects of trauma are so intense and severe that it became essential that you find a way to cope. Self-Injury may have helped you cope or deal with the aftereffects of your past traumatic experiences by giving you a way to escape negative feelings and to feel in control for once.
SI can be used for many uses. It may be a way of recreating some of the abuse you went through or witnessed as a child, allowing you to reenact the trauma through self-injury. Recreating previous traumatic experiences can be used as a way to symbolically alter the original course of the abuse, becuase when you hurt yourself, you are the one in control. This feeling of control can help change your reaction to these past abuses. By hurting yourself to recreate trauma, you are able to change from a situation where you felt helpless and powerless to one where you were in complete control, and had complete power.
Self-injury may also be used to relieve psychological tension. This extreme form of tension may directly result from past traumas ("as in the case of memories or flashbacks") or may indirectly result from past traumas ("such as an extreme reaction to loss or isolation"). You may experience moments when you are unable to get rid of painful images or memories of the trauma. At these times you may use self-injury as a way to get rid of these overwhelming memories.
Abuse and trauma both have so many related consequences, it is likely that you have used self-injury to cope with some of these. For example: if the people who were hurting you were the people who were the closest to you, you would not have been able to trust them. Or, because of the abuse you may have had to keep secrets from other friends and family members, which also interferes with your ability to connect with other people. You may also have used SI as away to lessen emotional pain related to the abuse. The lack of connection with other people, and the difficulty in trusting fosters the same feelings that lead to self-injury. "Because of the patterns set up in your abusive past, you may used SI to both replicate these patterns as well as control and relieve the accompanying intense emotional pain."
Boundaries - An area that is damaged by abuse, especially sexual abuse, is that of boundaries. "Boundaries are limits we place on ourselves and others that hlp us to maintain our sense of separateness and independence." When we are children we learn to separate ourselves from other people and to experience ourselves as a single, independent human being. A part of learning boundaries is determining what is ours and what is not ours. One of the things that children own is their body, they learn to believe that it is their own, and that no one else is allowed to touch, use, or disturb it without permission. These rules, or boundaries are often carried into adulthood. But children who have been abused often are not allowed or haven't had the chance to learn their boundaries. "Sexual or physical abuse leads to confusion over these very basic rules of ownership." Children who have been abused may learn that their body is to be hurt and abused or manipulated by others. They learn that their bodies are not their own. Their boundaries are variable or nonexistant.
Self-Injury allows people to experience their body as their own. In some way, it helps "illuminate or restore some basic boundaries lost due to childhood trauma."Hurting yourself may make you feel more real, more separate, more whole. You are the person who is hurting yourself. You are the one who is changing your body. "You, and you alone, are in charge of your body."
Dissociation - Dissociation is a big part of self-injury. But dissocation is also related to trauma or abuse. To survive abuse situations some people have to use dissociation as a tool. Dissociating from the physical or emotional pain may have helped you cope with the trauma. But, as an adult you have difficulty in regulating your dissociative states. SI is an effective way to control dissociation, letting you enter or end a dissociative state.
Eating Disorders - The relationship between SI and eating disorders is interesting and complex. Research has shown that most women who hurt themselves also have some type of eating disorder.
There are many types of eating disorder, but as of yet only two are recognized by the American Psychiatric Association as distinct and diagnosable problems: anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa. Anorexia nervosa is when an individual starves themselves to make themselves thin, resulting in body weight that is significantly lower than what is considered normal for that person's age and height. People with anorexia often have distorted views of their body shape and size. Bulimics, unlike anorexics who are extremely underweight, generally weigh within the normal range for their age and height. They engage in episodes of binging, or eating huge amounts of food while experiencing a feeling of lack of control over food intake, and some bulimics also purge, eliminate the food they ate by making themselves throw up, using laxatives, exercising excessively, or using another method. Fad diets and compulsive eating may also be considered as types of eating disorders.
As in SI, childhood trauma has often been experienced by those with eating disorders. An estimated one-third of people with eating disorders have experienced some type of trauma as a child. like SI, eating disorders may be a coping mechanism where you gain control. But there are many other factors that can lead to the development of an eating disorder. But this represents the most frequent roots of eating disorders.
Dissociation is also more common is people with eating disorders. If you have an eating disorder you may experience dissociative states similar to the ones felt when you hurt yourself. Actually, the overall pattern of an eating disorder is similar to that of self-injury. The cycle of bulimia is similar to the "Addiction Model". Negative emotions produce a state of tension, which leads to a state of dissociation, which then lead to an act of binging or purging, which then induces feelings of euphoria, which dissipates and leads to feeling of guilt, shame, or regret. Then the cycle continues.
If you have an eating disorder you may alternate between self-injury and the eating disorder. Or the two may occur simultaneously. Both may be used as a way of coping with great internal pain. And both can provide a way to relieve or release tension, a way to communicate to others your emotional state, to control dissociative states, and to physically express your internal pain. Eating disorders and self-injury have a great deal in common.
Trauma ------------> Dissociation -------------> Eating Disorder or Self-injury
Trauma or abuse leads to a tendency to dissociate, a coping mechanism that may have been crucial to survive the event physically and psychologically. The dissociation can, but doesn't always, lead to an eating disorder behavior or self-injury or both. Trauma is the common source for both these behaviors "and is responsible for the apparent relationship between eating disorders and self-injury. This does not mean that everyone that experiences trauma or that is abused will develop an eating disorder, or develop SI. And eating disorders and self-injury can develop without the presence of trauma. "It seems that both of these behaviors, while often stemming from common sources, also provide similar functions as coping mechanisms."
Substance Abuse - Substance abuse can mean the abuse of any drug (over-the-counter, prescription, or illegal), which includes alcohol, nicotine, and caffeine. These substances may be inhaled, ingested, or injected. It includes chemicals that are purposely inhaled with the intention of getting high.
Substance-related disorders is the general term that includes a wide variety of specific uses of substances and pattern of involvement with them. The terms that refer to the different degrees or impact that drugs have or your life are: substance use, substance abuse, and substance dependence. Also, the drugs may cause many side effects, such as imsomnia and brain damage, that lead to other problems. like self-injury, drugs are used to change our psychological or physical state. SI is typically used to change the way you feel: to decrease tension, increase euphoria, or alter you state of dissociation. And in this way, self-injury has similar effects to some drugs. Even though the two may serve a similar function they are not closely related.
Many people begin and continue using drugs as a way of regulating their moods. When you feel angry, or depressed, you may wish you had a way to change how you feel. Drugs do this effectively, although they have a large number of sometimes dangerous or lethal side effects. Many of us use one chemical or another at a time to regulate our moods and physical state.
The use of substances such as caffeine, alcohol, and/or nicotine is widely accepted by society and is more common than the use of other drugs, such as marijuana, cocaine, etc. Most of us have a type of substance to help us get through the day. However, most of these substances are legal and "culturally sanctioned," which makes them more difficult to identify, accept, understand, or recognize as a problem.
The relationship between self-injury and substance abuse has not been identified or understood very well. In part, this is because a lot of substance abuse goes unrecognized. You probably don't think of yourself as a drug addict, or dependent on drugs. And you may not even realize that you are changing your state of being with chemicals, such as drinking coffee to stay awake in class or at work.
Most people who hurt themselves do not use or abuse illegal substances. Fewer than one-third of people who hurt themselves have ever tried street drugs. In fact, the majority of acts of self-injury do not occur under the influence of any substance, legal or illegal. The reason for this is that substances and self-injury are both short-term ways of coping. Different people have different ways of coping. And some ways work better than others on different occassions. Using drugs and hurting yourself at the same time is unnecessary because both present a temporarily effective way to cope. If you have found something that works you don't need to use another coping mechanism because the immediate problem is solved.
Suicide - Suicide is the ending of life. Chronic feelings of depression and anxiety can lead to someone deciding to end their life. Suicide is often the result of overwhelming feelings of hopelessness and helplessness and of great psychological discomfort. In some cases the psychological pain comes from overwhelming and enescapable physical pain, as in the case of the terminally ill. Suicide is used to end psychological pain, people who attempt or succeed in killing themselves are not looking for a way to adapt to their psychological state. "In contrast, self-injury is used to cope--to adapt to severe psychological discomfort.
SI is not used to make life-threatening injuries. You hurt yourself so you can feel better. This is a goal that is infinitely different from that of suicide, which is to feel nothing at all. "The means, intent, and often the result of self-injurious acts are vastly different than those of suicide. Self-injury is not a mild form of suicide, nor is it a suicide attept gone awry. Instead, SI is a means of coping during a time of intense or overwhelming distress.
Borderline Personality Disorder - Of the large variety of psychiatric diagnoses self-injury is most often associated with borderline personality disorder (BPD). Borderline Personality Disorder is the only psychological diagnosis that specifically identifies self-injury as a criteria for diagnosis, with the exceptions of trichotillomania (the pulling out of hair) and sexual masochism (which can involve SI activities). Because of this some psychologists might diagnose some self-injurers with borderline personality disorder, only because of this one behavior. Because of the lack of diagnoses you may have been incorrectly diagnosed with BPD.
Borderline personality disorder has many criteria for diagnoses other than self-injury. "Personality disorders---whether borderline or another type---are characterized by long-term patterns of behavior that leads the person to feel distressed or impaired in some matter. Usually these patterns of behavior will affect functioning in several areas of life, including employment or school, social relationships, and/or personal well-being. In general terms, BPD is characterized by chronic, intense instability and chaos. This instability can present itself in the realms of identity, relationships, moods, and impulsivity."
People with BPD fluctuate between extremes. Unlike most people, people with BPD view the world in terms of black-and-white, all-or-nothing experience. They usually feel life is either great or terrible, effortless, or hopeless; but nothing in the middle of these two extremes.
Also, people with BPD do things to undermine their own success. Just before completion, goals are thrown aside. Graduation, relationships, and promotion may be tossed aside before successful completion. Behaviors that are self-defeating such as substance abuse, overspending, and physical altercations are common.
Lives of people with borderline personality disorder are chaotic. When life gets too calm or stable, they will begin to experience feelings of tension, vulnerability, and anxiety. Rather than experience these negative feelings they will seek out new chaos. So their life is a cycle of creating and repairing chaotic situations.
For people with BPD self-injury is a direct response to overwhelming psychological pain. It is a way of relieving and releasing intense emotions they experience at calm times in their lives. Also, SI is a way of releasing the feelings of fright they get from thoughts, memories, and emotions during their moments of calm. It also keeps these feelings at bay. Dissociation that may come with the self-injury may end those overwhelming emotional states.
Also, the injuries produced by self-injury are another chaos to focus on for those with BPD. These wound allow the attention of the person to be transferred from the original, distressing emotions to the new emotions and experiences that stem directly from the self-injury. Basically, self-injury plays a complex and interesting role within people with borderline personality disorder. "Self-injury, for a variety of reasons, acts as an agent for producing internal states which are better able to be tolerated.
Dissociative Identity Disorder - Formerly called multiple personality disorder (MPD), dissociative identity disorder (DID) occurs when a person has two or more individual and complete personalities. Each of these identities, or as they are commonly known, alters, has its own personality, it's own memories, it's own style of thoughts, it's own history and temperament. And some of these personalities may be unaware of the presence of the others; and other personalities are aware of and communicate with other different and distinct personalities. An estimated half (only roughly estimated) of people with dissociative identity disorder have between two and ten alters or personalities.
In some ways a person with DID is sort of like an extended family, except that it is a family that is inside of only one individual. "Each of the 'family members' has a distinct personality with particular strengths and weaknesses. One family member may be very artistic, one may excel at business, one may be depressed, one anxious, one angry. There may be children, adults, and adolescents. Some family members may be male, some female, some heterosexual, and some homosexual. Within the family, some of the members may communicate well with each other, some may communicate ineffectively, and some may not communicate with each other at all."
Dissociative Identity Disorder generally occurs in individuals who experienced intense trauma and abuse as a child, often trauma that began before the age of three. Severe physical and sexual abuse is often experienced by those with DID. Also, ritual abuse is associated with dissociative identity disorder.
Dissociation is the psychological mechanism that allows someone to form and maintain different personalities. Since both abuse and dissociation are often connected with self-injury, it is not uncommon for dissociative identity disorder to coexist with SI.
Self-injury serves many purposes for people with DID. In addition to the usual large variety of functions that SI serves, "it has particular applications among individuals with dissociative identity disorder." First, is the ability to control dissociation. Since high levels of dissociation often occur in dissociative identity disorder, control is important.
Sometimes SI is used to prevent another alter or personality from emerging. The physical feelings of self-injury may be enought reminder of reality to keep some personalities from coming out.
SI can also be used to induce the emergence of a certain personality. One personality may be in such physical or emotional pain that they need someone else to take over. This can be either purposeful or accidental.
Also, violence can occur between different alters. Many indivuals with DID have one alter that is angry, violent, and abusive. This identity may take its anger out on another alters- which in reality are their own physical selves.
Self-injury also occurs because of dialogue between different identities. Sometimes, one identity will produce and internal voice that directs another identity to hurt her- or himself. Depending on the strength of this alter, this may lead to an episode of self-injury.
Because of the high level of dissociation associated with DID it is not uncommon for an alter to find wounds they cannot remember causing. The inability to remember may actually be as disturbing as the actual injury. A common characteristic of this disorder is the inability to recall important events or information. This inability to remember may lead to feelings of anger and frustration, helplessness, and despair. And, as you probably know, these are often feelings that cause an episode of self-injury. "Thus the severity of the dissociation involved with dissociative identity disorder, as well as both the causes and results of this dissociation, will affect the likelihood of SI activities and sometimes the extent of the injuries also."
DID is an extreme and complex type of psychological problem. If you know or suspect that you have dissociative identity disorder, and you want help with that or your SI, it would be best for you to seek professional help so you can treat the root of these issues.
uweremyfavoritemistake
New member
What ways do people SI? SI is usually split into three categories: Psychotic, Organic, and Typical.
Psychotic SI - Types of Psychotic SI include the removal or amputation of body parts, such as eyes, limbs, ears, and genitals. These acts of SI are usually done in response to visual or audible hallucinations. This type of SI is severe and is easily identified.
Organic SI - Organic SI usually stems from autistic disorders, developmental disabilities, and other psychologically induced disorders. This type of SI is always influenced by physical or chemical problems in the body. Forms of Organic SI include head-banging and lip-biting.
Typical SI - Typical SI results because of emotional or psychological reasons not related to psychotic (hearing voices, seeing things that aren't there, delusions) or organic (physical) conditions. The majority of the people who SI fall into this catergory. This type of SI is used to make yourself feel better and as a way of coping with your life. The following are the most common ways people hurt themselves.
Cutting - Cutting, also known as slicing or slashing, is the most common way people hurt themselves. It is typically done with a knife, razor blade, piece of glass, or other sharp objects. Most of the cuts are done on the arms, legs, wrists, and chest; but other people cut on other parts of the body such as the stomache, face, neck, breasts, and genitals. But cutting on the arms and wrist is the most common because excuses can be made more easily (for example people can say that they had an accident while cooking).
Burning - Burning is another common way people hurt themselves. Usually done with cigarettes, lighters, matches, kitchen-stove burners, heated objects (branding irons or hot skillets), and burning objects. Sometimes people even use flammable substances such as gasoline, propane, alocohol, and lighter fluid. Similar to cutting, most people burn themselves on their arms, wrists, legs, and chest.
Interferance with the Healing of Wounds - Most people have unconsciously interfered with the healing of a wound but it is considered SI when it is done deliberately. Some people remove stitches prematurely, stick objects such as needles, pins, etc. into the wound, or do other things to reopen the wound.
Hitting - Hitting themselves with their fists is another way that people hurt themselves that is most commonly done on the head or thighs. Although it may not seem as serious as cutting or burning it is done for the same reasons and results.
Extreme Nail Biting - It is common for most people to bite their nails. But when it is used as a form of SI it is more severe and frequent than normal. It can result in the injury and damage of the fingernails or cuticles. People can bite their fingernails so much that they draw blood.
Scratching - Another common thing amongst most people scratching can become a form of SI. People who use it as a method of SI make it more extreme in frequency, intensity, and duration. Area's of skin can become raw or sometimes even bloody. Usually the scratching is done with the fingernails but sometimes it is done with a sharp or semisharp object such as a knife, comb, or pencil. Sometimes it is done unconsciously.
Hair-Pulling - Trichotillomania, "the excessive and recurrent removal of your own hair resulting in a noticeable loss of hair," is the only form of SI recognized as a psychological disorder by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV). Usually the hair is removed from the scalp, eyebrows, or beard, but can be from any part of the body. The bald spots that result from Trichotillomania are usually covered with a hat, bandage, or sunglasses.
Breaking of bones - A form of SI that is more rare than the others, the breaking of bones is a serious and severe form of SI. Usually, people break their bones with an instrument such as a hammer, brick, or other heavy objects. But sometimes people throw themselves into walls or doors.
Other - There are other ways people hurt themselves that are not listed here. The above are just the most commonly known.
Psychotic SI - Types of Psychotic SI include the removal or amputation of body parts, such as eyes, limbs, ears, and genitals. These acts of SI are usually done in response to visual or audible hallucinations. This type of SI is severe and is easily identified.
Organic SI - Organic SI usually stems from autistic disorders, developmental disabilities, and other psychologically induced disorders. This type of SI is always influenced by physical or chemical problems in the body. Forms of Organic SI include head-banging and lip-biting.
Typical SI - Typical SI results because of emotional or psychological reasons not related to psychotic (hearing voices, seeing things that aren't there, delusions) or organic (physical) conditions. The majority of the people who SI fall into this catergory. This type of SI is used to make yourself feel better and as a way of coping with your life. The following are the most common ways people hurt themselves.
Cutting - Cutting, also known as slicing or slashing, is the most common way people hurt themselves. It is typically done with a knife, razor blade, piece of glass, or other sharp objects. Most of the cuts are done on the arms, legs, wrists, and chest; but other people cut on other parts of the body such as the stomache, face, neck, breasts, and genitals. But cutting on the arms and wrist is the most common because excuses can be made more easily (for example people can say that they had an accident while cooking).
Burning - Burning is another common way people hurt themselves. Usually done with cigarettes, lighters, matches, kitchen-stove burners, heated objects (branding irons or hot skillets), and burning objects. Sometimes people even use flammable substances such as gasoline, propane, alocohol, and lighter fluid. Similar to cutting, most people burn themselves on their arms, wrists, legs, and chest.
Interferance with the Healing of Wounds - Most people have unconsciously interfered with the healing of a wound but it is considered SI when it is done deliberately. Some people remove stitches prematurely, stick objects such as needles, pins, etc. into the wound, or do other things to reopen the wound.
Hitting - Hitting themselves with their fists is another way that people hurt themselves that is most commonly done on the head or thighs. Although it may not seem as serious as cutting or burning it is done for the same reasons and results.
Extreme Nail Biting - It is common for most people to bite their nails. But when it is used as a form of SI it is more severe and frequent than normal. It can result in the injury and damage of the fingernails or cuticles. People can bite their fingernails so much that they draw blood.
Scratching - Another common thing amongst most people scratching can become a form of SI. People who use it as a method of SI make it more extreme in frequency, intensity, and duration. Area's of skin can become raw or sometimes even bloody. Usually the scratching is done with the fingernails but sometimes it is done with a sharp or semisharp object such as a knife, comb, or pencil. Sometimes it is done unconsciously.
Hair-Pulling - Trichotillomania, "the excessive and recurrent removal of your own hair resulting in a noticeable loss of hair," is the only form of SI recognized as a psychological disorder by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV). Usually the hair is removed from the scalp, eyebrows, or beard, but can be from any part of the body. The bald spots that result from Trichotillomania are usually covered with a hat, bandage, or sunglasses.
Breaking of bones - A form of SI that is more rare than the others, the breaking of bones is a serious and severe form of SI. Usually, people break their bones with an instrument such as a hammer, brick, or other heavy objects. But sometimes people throw themselves into walls or doors.
Other - There are other ways people hurt themselves that are not listed here. The above are just the most commonly known.
uweremyfavoritemistake
New member
A link between si and shame
One of the most common factors connected to SI is shame. "Shame is a powerful emotion, able to alter thoughts, feelings, and even behaviors." Any shame or embarrasment that comes from SI can have a big effect on all parts of a self-injurers life such as friendships, school, and job performance. Also, shame is often a feeling that precedes SI, coming from events that happened earlier in the individual's life. As has been stated earlier there is a obvious relationship between self-injury and child abuse. For many self-injurers, SI-ing is connected with a traumatic childhood. Feelings of shame and embarrasment often follow the traumas they have experienced. Many people who have been abused feel that it is their fault, that they somehow encouraged, initiated, or/and deserved the abuse. These thoughts and feelings become connected with the memories of abuse, and then are transferred to SI behaviors. So, possibly if you feel shame or guilt or think you deserved to be punished, then you might act in ways that correspond those beliefs. You might hurt yourself if you feel that you deserve to be punished, for example.
The punishment or SI act then implies that you are at fault (because generally you are punished when you have done something wrong), which then fosters feelings of shame or guilt. So an SI act often can cause the feelings of shame that before preceded the act of self-injury. Also, the shame from SI "breeds secrecy." Many people keep their self-injury secret because of their shame, and their fear of being judged or looked down upon by others. The stigma in our society placed on SI makes many people afraid to tell others about their SI behavior. The secretive nature of SI also increases the feelings of shame and isolation, which continues the cycle of self-injury.
The feeling of shame and embarrassment can result from many different parts of SI, such as scars, wound, bruises, cuts, feelings from past traumas, emotions, etc.
Wounds, Bruises, and Scars - In many people who hurt themselves scars or visible cuts, bruises, wounds produce feelings of shame. Scars from self-injury "may be a life-long reminder of the injurious episode and may produce shame from internal thoughts or feelings as well as from external sources. Scars and other visible wounds can also be embarrassing when other people see them. Bruises, bald spots, and other visible, yet temporary, marks from SI can be just as embarrassing as scars.
Many people find other people's scars interesting and ask questions like: "What happened?" "That must of hurt! How did you get it?" These questions and comments can result from exposing your self injury by, for example, wearing a short sleeved shirt; and can trigger more feelings of shame and embarrassment. Scars or wound not coming from an act of SI don't induce the same amount of shame; they might be slightly embarassing because they are not attractive, but some people wear them as "badges of honor." The reactions of other people to your scars or wounds depends on their source, and those reactions will affect your thoughts and feelings.
Most people don't understand self-injury and react akwardly when it is mentioned. Other people's responses often help increase your feelings of shame and embarrassment. By exposing scars, wounds, etc you risk people seeing, questioning, and reacting to your self-injury. So when other people question your scars you, anticipating their disgust, you might feel compelled to lie about their source. (Let me interrupt here: A excuse I used was that my aunt's Doberman had attacked me. This was a complete lie because my aunt doesn't own a Doberman.) For this reason you might hide or cover your scars and wounds.
Many people who self-injure try to hide their scars or injuries. You might wear long-sleeved shirts, long pants, or hats in the hottest weather to cover your injuries. While you are SI-ing you may even consider where you're hurting yourself and how hard it will be to conceal.
Therefore shame and embarrassment from SI can be very extreme. It is very hard to handle judgement and misunderstanding from others. And, sometimes the responses of other people to your SI will cause to lie about your SI, conceal it under clothes, etc. But by hiding your scars or wounds, or lying you are continuing the cycle of shame. "Remember your scars represent survival. Your body carries indelible reminders of how strong you can be. It is important to view these marks with pride and respect. Only when you respect yourself can you begin to demand respect from others."
Isolation and Alienation - People who SI often feel shame because of the very nature of the behavior. You might feel alone in your SI activities. This may be due to the fact that you previously did not know anyone else intentionally hurt themselves. SI is a behavior that's rarely discussed in society and has not been exposed by the media; and for these reasons you might have felt alone. You may feel different or "crazy" or abnormal. You may feel shame about your SI because you have not yet realized that there are other people who also hurt themselves.
Self-injury is different from other behaviors. Drug and alcohol abuse, eating disorders, gambling, etc. have gotten a large amount of media attention. The recognition of these behaviors may make those who have them feel less different, less isolated. Also for these behaviors there are often support groups in many cities. But although there are many people who SI, rarely do you find large amounts of support and attention for this behavior.
Along with feeling different from other people some individuals feel embarrassed by the actual act of self-injury. The violence that goes with SI may cause you to feel shame. You may feel guilty about hurting your body; about drawing blood, about causing permanent scars.
Vulnerability and Loss of Control - Seeing your own blood or wounded flesh may also cause feelings of shame. Exposing parts of your physical being that used to be hidden may cause you to feel embarrassed or ashamed.
Another source of shame is feeling unable to control your SI behavior. You may feel that hurting yourself means you are weak. You may have tried to stop SI-ing but found yourself unable to, which may cause feelings of failure and regret. If you have talked to anyone about your SI you may not want to tell them about any new injuries. You may be embarrassed or ashamed that you hurt yourself again. You might even berate yourself for SI-ing, which is a behavior that helps you cope. But scolding or berating yourself doesn't usually help. Actually it might even increase your feelings of shame and embarrassment. The shame is caused by your perceived loss of control or failure.
For some people it is not the act of SI that makes them feel shame and embarrassment, but their inability to remember the SI incident. As has been stated earlier many people who SI are in a dissociative state while they engage in their behavior. "Dissociation distorts the conscience as well as decreased the experience of physical pain." Some people dissociate more than others. You may even dissociate so much that you are unable to remember hurting yourself. This may cause you to feel shame, embarrassment, surprise, and confusion. This level of dissociation is not common but it can cause severe emotional consequences including large amounts of shame.
Overcoming Shame - Shame can be a useful and appropriate feeling at times but it can also be very hurtful. "Secrecy, isolation, alienation, depression, and self-hatred are all consequences of shame. Many of these consequence will increase your desire to hurt yourself, thus playing a major role in the cycle of self-injury."
There are two main ways to reduce shame. One is to stop the behavior that causes those feelings. But SI is probably your way of coping, and while stopping your SI behaviors will reduce your shame it is not a practical approach. Two is to change the way that you view SI and how you think about it. SI is a coping mechanism that you and many other people use to stay alive or control dangerous feelings. It may have even kept you alive, an alternative to suicide. The scars on your body and your memories are evidence of your ability to survive. If you begin thinking of self-injury as a "method of coping, surviving, and caring for yourself, you are likely to decrease (and hopefully eliminate) shame and increase feelings of pride."
One of the most common factors connected to SI is shame. "Shame is a powerful emotion, able to alter thoughts, feelings, and even behaviors." Any shame or embarrasment that comes from SI can have a big effect on all parts of a self-injurers life such as friendships, school, and job performance. Also, shame is often a feeling that precedes SI, coming from events that happened earlier in the individual's life. As has been stated earlier there is a obvious relationship between self-injury and child abuse. For many self-injurers, SI-ing is connected with a traumatic childhood. Feelings of shame and embarrasment often follow the traumas they have experienced. Many people who have been abused feel that it is their fault, that they somehow encouraged, initiated, or/and deserved the abuse. These thoughts and feelings become connected with the memories of abuse, and then are transferred to SI behaviors. So, possibly if you feel shame or guilt or think you deserved to be punished, then you might act in ways that correspond those beliefs. You might hurt yourself if you feel that you deserve to be punished, for example.
The punishment or SI act then implies that you are at fault (because generally you are punished when you have done something wrong), which then fosters feelings of shame or guilt. So an SI act often can cause the feelings of shame that before preceded the act of self-injury. Also, the shame from SI "breeds secrecy." Many people keep their self-injury secret because of their shame, and their fear of being judged or looked down upon by others. The stigma in our society placed on SI makes many people afraid to tell others about their SI behavior. The secretive nature of SI also increases the feelings of shame and isolation, which continues the cycle of self-injury.
The feeling of shame and embarrassment can result from many different parts of SI, such as scars, wound, bruises, cuts, feelings from past traumas, emotions, etc.
Wounds, Bruises, and Scars - In many people who hurt themselves scars or visible cuts, bruises, wounds produce feelings of shame. Scars from self-injury "may be a life-long reminder of the injurious episode and may produce shame from internal thoughts or feelings as well as from external sources. Scars and other visible wounds can also be embarrassing when other people see them. Bruises, bald spots, and other visible, yet temporary, marks from SI can be just as embarrassing as scars.
Many people find other people's scars interesting and ask questions like: "What happened?" "That must of hurt! How did you get it?" These questions and comments can result from exposing your self injury by, for example, wearing a short sleeved shirt; and can trigger more feelings of shame and embarrassment. Scars or wound not coming from an act of SI don't induce the same amount of shame; they might be slightly embarassing because they are not attractive, but some people wear them as "badges of honor." The reactions of other people to your scars or wounds depends on their source, and those reactions will affect your thoughts and feelings.
Most people don't understand self-injury and react akwardly when it is mentioned. Other people's responses often help increase your feelings of shame and embarrassment. By exposing scars, wounds, etc you risk people seeing, questioning, and reacting to your self-injury. So when other people question your scars you, anticipating their disgust, you might feel compelled to lie about their source. (Let me interrupt here: A excuse I used was that my aunt's Doberman had attacked me. This was a complete lie because my aunt doesn't own a Doberman.) For this reason you might hide or cover your scars and wounds.
Many people who self-injure try to hide their scars or injuries. You might wear long-sleeved shirts, long pants, or hats in the hottest weather to cover your injuries. While you are SI-ing you may even consider where you're hurting yourself and how hard it will be to conceal.
Therefore shame and embarrassment from SI can be very extreme. It is very hard to handle judgement and misunderstanding from others. And, sometimes the responses of other people to your SI will cause to lie about your SI, conceal it under clothes, etc. But by hiding your scars or wounds, or lying you are continuing the cycle of shame. "Remember your scars represent survival. Your body carries indelible reminders of how strong you can be. It is important to view these marks with pride and respect. Only when you respect yourself can you begin to demand respect from others."
Isolation and Alienation - People who SI often feel shame because of the very nature of the behavior. You might feel alone in your SI activities. This may be due to the fact that you previously did not know anyone else intentionally hurt themselves. SI is a behavior that's rarely discussed in society and has not been exposed by the media; and for these reasons you might have felt alone. You may feel different or "crazy" or abnormal. You may feel shame about your SI because you have not yet realized that there are other people who also hurt themselves.
Self-injury is different from other behaviors. Drug and alcohol abuse, eating disorders, gambling, etc. have gotten a large amount of media attention. The recognition of these behaviors may make those who have them feel less different, less isolated. Also for these behaviors there are often support groups in many cities. But although there are many people who SI, rarely do you find large amounts of support and attention for this behavior.
Along with feeling different from other people some individuals feel embarrassed by the actual act of self-injury. The violence that goes with SI may cause you to feel shame. You may feel guilty about hurting your body; about drawing blood, about causing permanent scars.
Vulnerability and Loss of Control - Seeing your own blood or wounded flesh may also cause feelings of shame. Exposing parts of your physical being that used to be hidden may cause you to feel embarrassed or ashamed.
Another source of shame is feeling unable to control your SI behavior. You may feel that hurting yourself means you are weak. You may have tried to stop SI-ing but found yourself unable to, which may cause feelings of failure and regret. If you have talked to anyone about your SI you may not want to tell them about any new injuries. You may be embarrassed or ashamed that you hurt yourself again. You might even berate yourself for SI-ing, which is a behavior that helps you cope. But scolding or berating yourself doesn't usually help. Actually it might even increase your feelings of shame and embarrassment. The shame is caused by your perceived loss of control or failure.
For some people it is not the act of SI that makes them feel shame and embarrassment, but their inability to remember the SI incident. As has been stated earlier many people who SI are in a dissociative state while they engage in their behavior. "Dissociation distorts the conscience as well as decreased the experience of physical pain." Some people dissociate more than others. You may even dissociate so much that you are unable to remember hurting yourself. This may cause you to feel shame, embarrassment, surprise, and confusion. This level of dissociation is not common but it can cause severe emotional consequences including large amounts of shame.
Overcoming Shame - Shame can be a useful and appropriate feeling at times but it can also be very hurtful. "Secrecy, isolation, alienation, depression, and self-hatred are all consequences of shame. Many of these consequence will increase your desire to hurt yourself, thus playing a major role in the cycle of self-injury."
There are two main ways to reduce shame. One is to stop the behavior that causes those feelings. But SI is probably your way of coping, and while stopping your SI behaviors will reduce your shame it is not a practical approach. Two is to change the way that you view SI and how you think about it. SI is a coping mechanism that you and many other people use to stay alive or control dangerous feelings. It may have even kept you alive, an alternative to suicide. The scars on your body and your memories are evidence of your ability to survive. If you begin thinking of self-injury as a "method of coping, surviving, and caring for yourself, you are likely to decrease (and hopefully eliminate) shame and increase feelings of pride."
uweremyfavoritemistake
New member
Relationship between your thoughts and SI
You may not be aware of this fact, but most likely your thoughts follow a predictable cycle throughout the course of SI.
Thoughts Before SI - There are many things going through your mind before you hurt yourself. You are probably aware of some of these thoughts such as how you are going to hurt yourself, where you're going to, or even thinking about if you're even going to hurt yourself after all. However you are probably having many other thoughts that you may not even be aware of. These thoughts are often the "primary sources of motivation to hurt yourself." Therefore, if you are going to change your behavior you will have to identify and understand the thoughts you have before hurting yourself.
Thoughts you may have before hurting yourself:
I hate myself
I'm so ugly.
I hate everyone.
I want someone to care about me.
life sucks.
I'm stupid.
Sometimes your thoughts will come from identifiable events. Example: you get a bad grade on a report card, and think that you are a bad student. But at other times the source of your thoughts won't be so easy to identify and will be more complicated. Example: you may think you are stupid or ugly but may not be able to tell where or when you first got the idea for these thoughts.
Regardless of the origins of these thoughts, most of them are probably negative. Before you SI you are probably thinking of yourself and the world in a pessimistic way. These negative thoughts are the ones that lead to the desire to hurt yourself.
Some people use self-injury to control their negative thoughts (and emotions). When your are experiencing negative and destructive thoughts you probably want to make them stop. Self-Injury is an act you can focus on, instead of thinking thoughts like I'm worthless you replace them with I'm going to hurt myself. And once you begin concentrating on hurting yourself, you push aside the original thoughts that made you feel the desire to hurt yourself.
Although, self-injury is one method that can help you control your thoughts and let you escape negative thoughts, there are other options.
Thoughts During Self-Injury - As has been mentioned earlier many people who self-injure enter a dissociative state before hurting themselves. In this state they may feel detached from themselves or like they're floating, or even like they're watching themselves. And one of the functions of a dissociative state is to stop the body from feeling pain, and it doesn't let you feel much pain when you are hurting yourself. Dissociation can be helpful in a way, but it can also be negative. It can make it very hard for you to be aware of what you were exactly thinking at the time you hurt yourself. But it is during this time when your thinking is most irrational and destructive.
Thoughts you may have immediately before hurting yourself or during:
I need to hurt myself.
"Only a few more (cuts, burn, bruises, etc.) and I'll be ok."
"This is the only way I can feel better"
Each of these thoughts are illogical, but at the time you are hurting yourself they seem to make perfect sense. (Let me interrupt: I've had these thoughts and they do make perfect sense when I'm hurting myself.)
Thoughts After Self-Injury - After hurting themselves many people say that they are unable "access their thoughts. For many people, the physiological process associated with SI causes their thoughts to become disorganized or scattered." But a little while after they hurt themselves they once again become aware of their thoughts. The thoughts they have at this time usually follow three major themes: shame, guilt, and relief.
Thoughts you may have after hurting yourself:
I can't believe I just (cut, burned, hit, etc.) myself again.
I'm so stupid and weak for hurting myself.
I'm not going to tell anyone, they wouldn't understand.
Hurting myself makes me feel better.
These thoughts of guilt and shame may feel hard to resist, but they are negative. And, probably it is negative thoughts and feelings that are a part of the reason you want to hurt yourself. Letting yourself think these thoughts will probably only make you want to hurt yourself even more. Instead you should find ways to stop or change these thoughts.
You may not be aware of this fact, but most likely your thoughts follow a predictable cycle throughout the course of SI.
Thoughts Before SI - There are many things going through your mind before you hurt yourself. You are probably aware of some of these thoughts such as how you are going to hurt yourself, where you're going to, or even thinking about if you're even going to hurt yourself after all. However you are probably having many other thoughts that you may not even be aware of. These thoughts are often the "primary sources of motivation to hurt yourself." Therefore, if you are going to change your behavior you will have to identify and understand the thoughts you have before hurting yourself.
Thoughts you may have before hurting yourself:
I hate myself
I'm so ugly.
I hate everyone.
I want someone to care about me.
life sucks.
I'm stupid.
Sometimes your thoughts will come from identifiable events. Example: you get a bad grade on a report card, and think that you are a bad student. But at other times the source of your thoughts won't be so easy to identify and will be more complicated. Example: you may think you are stupid or ugly but may not be able to tell where or when you first got the idea for these thoughts.
Regardless of the origins of these thoughts, most of them are probably negative. Before you SI you are probably thinking of yourself and the world in a pessimistic way. These negative thoughts are the ones that lead to the desire to hurt yourself.
Some people use self-injury to control their negative thoughts (and emotions). When your are experiencing negative and destructive thoughts you probably want to make them stop. Self-Injury is an act you can focus on, instead of thinking thoughts like I'm worthless you replace them with I'm going to hurt myself. And once you begin concentrating on hurting yourself, you push aside the original thoughts that made you feel the desire to hurt yourself.
Although, self-injury is one method that can help you control your thoughts and let you escape negative thoughts, there are other options.
Thoughts During Self-Injury - As has been mentioned earlier many people who self-injure enter a dissociative state before hurting themselves. In this state they may feel detached from themselves or like they're floating, or even like they're watching themselves. And one of the functions of a dissociative state is to stop the body from feeling pain, and it doesn't let you feel much pain when you are hurting yourself. Dissociation can be helpful in a way, but it can also be negative. It can make it very hard for you to be aware of what you were exactly thinking at the time you hurt yourself. But it is during this time when your thinking is most irrational and destructive.
Thoughts you may have immediately before hurting yourself or during:
I need to hurt myself.
"Only a few more (cuts, burn, bruises, etc.) and I'll be ok."
"This is the only way I can feel better"
Each of these thoughts are illogical, but at the time you are hurting yourself they seem to make perfect sense. (Let me interrupt: I've had these thoughts and they do make perfect sense when I'm hurting myself.)
Thoughts After Self-Injury - After hurting themselves many people say that they are unable "access their thoughts. For many people, the physiological process associated with SI causes their thoughts to become disorganized or scattered." But a little while after they hurt themselves they once again become aware of their thoughts. The thoughts they have at this time usually follow three major themes: shame, guilt, and relief.
Thoughts you may have after hurting yourself:
I can't believe I just (cut, burned, hit, etc.) myself again.
I'm so stupid and weak for hurting myself.
I'm not going to tell anyone, they wouldn't understand.
Hurting myself makes me feel better.
These thoughts of guilt and shame may feel hard to resist, but they are negative. And, probably it is negative thoughts and feelings that are a part of the reason you want to hurt yourself. Letting yourself think these thoughts will probably only make you want to hurt yourself even more. Instead you should find ways to stop or change these thoughts.
uweremyfavoritemistake
New member
And last but not least ... in their own words ... from people who do SI
Here are the main ones: (1) to see blood. It makes me feel like I'm alive, the blood itself is in some weird way like life itself. So, when I'm numb or overwhelmed, it helps soothe me. (2) for the scars. They make me feel like my pain is real, no one can dismiss actual proof like scars, the way people close to me have dismissed my problems and feelings. It's like battle scars: I can look at them and know that I HAVE been through something, and no one can tell me I'm lying. I hurt enough to injure myself-- that means I WAS in pain emotionally. (3) for the pain afterwards. For some reason it makes me feel alive, too. It gives me comfort. When I hate myself, touching the wound will help me feel like I've already been punished, and I'm allowed not to hate myself. When I'm numb' or feel completely "fake", I can use the pain to feel that there is something solid that won't change on me like my emotions and sense of self do."
[female, age 24, began to SI at age 16 1/2]
"Helps me cope, works to bring me back from not knowing what's going on or feeling numb."
[female, age 17, began to SI at age 3 or possibly before]
"Release of tension, so I don't have to deal with what is really going on inside me"
[female, age 17, began to SI at age 12]
"I had felt really bad for a really long time when I started. I just had this urge to hurt myself, I wanted to feel pain. Then it just became a magic solution to any little problem."
[female, age 16, began to SI at age 15]
"I cut myself as a way to deal with the pain and frustration in my life. I have no other outlet with which to express these emotions. I feel like I should add something about my health in this, too. I'm a sickly little girl. I don't ever get colds or minor illnesses. Oh, no. About twice a year, I get sick. I think I'm the only person in the world who's had mono four times. The past Jan/Feb I had mono, tonsillitis, strep, and an ear infection all at the same time. I even had to be intubated in the ER at one point. I also have a yet unidentified lymph disorder that's contributing to this. My spleen is nearly all scar tissue. On top of this, I have moderate scoliosis, so my back is in nearly constant pain. I think part of the reason I cut myself is that I'm so angry at my body for 'failing' me."
[female, age 19, began to SI at age 15]
"I use it as a release for my anger- instead of punching a hole in the wall or possibly hurting others."
[female, age 16, began to SI at age 15]
"It makes me feel relaxed and in charge of myself. The physical pain of hurting myself helps override emotional pain. Most of the time I do not realize I'm hurting myself until after I'm done."
[female, age 14, has SI'ed for as long as she can remember]
"I cut to make myself feel better. I've gone thirteen months without cutting and am learning other ways to feel better."
[female, age 20, began to SI at age 13]
"It relieves stress and tension, and it gives me a physical wound to tend to since I don't know how to see my emotional ones."
[female, age 19, began to SI at age 11]
"I SI because it helps relieve my anger. I like to see my own blood dripping down and off my arms."
[female, age 16, began to SI at age 13]
"It is a release. From everything. If my day sucks or I think I screwed something up - it can make it OK and I can stop beating myself up in the head about whatever I thought I did that was so terrible. Or, if I'm having a good day, I don't quite know what to do with that either. I guess it's how I feel things."
[female, age 24, began to SI at age 14]
"I try to translate my inner pain to a more touchable one. My guilt and self-hatred sort of floats out with the blood, leaving me with relief and calm for once."
[female, age 17, began to SI at age 14]
"Cos it releases the pain- physical pain is easier to cope and deal with. It is a constant reminder to me of the pain I'm in without constantly thinking about what's hurting me."
[female, age 16]
Here are the main ones: (1) to see blood. It makes me feel like I'm alive, the blood itself is in some weird way like life itself. So, when I'm numb or overwhelmed, it helps soothe me. (2) for the scars. They make me feel like my pain is real, no one can dismiss actual proof like scars, the way people close to me have dismissed my problems and feelings. It's like battle scars: I can look at them and know that I HAVE been through something, and no one can tell me I'm lying. I hurt enough to injure myself-- that means I WAS in pain emotionally. (3) for the pain afterwards. For some reason it makes me feel alive, too. It gives me comfort. When I hate myself, touching the wound will help me feel like I've already been punished, and I'm allowed not to hate myself. When I'm numb' or feel completely "fake", I can use the pain to feel that there is something solid that won't change on me like my emotions and sense of self do."
[female, age 24, began to SI at age 16 1/2]
"Helps me cope, works to bring me back from not knowing what's going on or feeling numb."
[female, age 17, began to SI at age 3 or possibly before]
"Release of tension, so I don't have to deal with what is really going on inside me"
[female, age 17, began to SI at age 12]
"I had felt really bad for a really long time when I started. I just had this urge to hurt myself, I wanted to feel pain. Then it just became a magic solution to any little problem."
[female, age 16, began to SI at age 15]
"I cut myself as a way to deal with the pain and frustration in my life. I have no other outlet with which to express these emotions. I feel like I should add something about my health in this, too. I'm a sickly little girl. I don't ever get colds or minor illnesses. Oh, no. About twice a year, I get sick. I think I'm the only person in the world who's had mono four times. The past Jan/Feb I had mono, tonsillitis, strep, and an ear infection all at the same time. I even had to be intubated in the ER at one point. I also have a yet unidentified lymph disorder that's contributing to this. My spleen is nearly all scar tissue. On top of this, I have moderate scoliosis, so my back is in nearly constant pain. I think part of the reason I cut myself is that I'm so angry at my body for 'failing' me."
[female, age 19, began to SI at age 15]
"I use it as a release for my anger- instead of punching a hole in the wall or possibly hurting others."
[female, age 16, began to SI at age 15]
"It makes me feel relaxed and in charge of myself. The physical pain of hurting myself helps override emotional pain. Most of the time I do not realize I'm hurting myself until after I'm done."
[female, age 14, has SI'ed for as long as she can remember]
"I cut to make myself feel better. I've gone thirteen months without cutting and am learning other ways to feel better."
[female, age 20, began to SI at age 13]
"It relieves stress and tension, and it gives me a physical wound to tend to since I don't know how to see my emotional ones."
[female, age 19, began to SI at age 11]
"I SI because it helps relieve my anger. I like to see my own blood dripping down and off my arms."
[female, age 16, began to SI at age 13]
"It is a release. From everything. If my day sucks or I think I screwed something up - it can make it OK and I can stop beating myself up in the head about whatever I thought I did that was so terrible. Or, if I'm having a good day, I don't quite know what to do with that either. I guess it's how I feel things."
[female, age 24, began to SI at age 14]
"I try to translate my inner pain to a more touchable one. My guilt and self-hatred sort of floats out with the blood, leaving me with relief and calm for once."
[female, age 17, began to SI at age 14]
"Cos it releases the pain- physical pain is easier to cope and deal with. It is a constant reminder to me of the pain I'm in without constantly thinking about what's hurting me."
[female, age 16]
uweremyfavoritemistake
New member
Famous Si'ers
Johnny Depp-
Johnny Depp, a young actor well known for his past "bad boy" behavior, was born in Owensboro, Kentucky in 1963. In a 1999 Avantgarde interview Johnny said, "As a teenager I was so insecure. I was the type of guy that never fitted in because he never dared to choose. I was convinced I had absolutely no talent at all. For nothing. And that thought took away all my ambition too." Even today he still has feelings of insecurity about himself. In 1999 he said, "My self-image it still isn't that alright. No matter how famous I am, no matter how many people go to see my movies, I still have the idea that I'm that pale no-hoper that I used to be. A pale no-hoper that happens to be a little lucky now. Tomorrow it'll be all over, then I'll have to go back to selling pens again." During his teens he had drinking, smoking and doing drugs. There were episodes of petty theft and vandalism. He dropped out of high school at the age of sixteen so that he could concentrate on being a musician. He continued to have problems with drugs and drinking into his twenties.
Johnny has a series of seven or eight scars on his left forearm where he has cut himself with a knife on different occasions to commemorate various moments or rights of passage in his life. In a Talk magazine interview he said, "It was really just whatever [times when he hurt himself]--good times, bad times, it didn't matter. There was no ceremony. It wasn't like 'Okay, this just happened, I have to go hack a piece of my flesh off.'" In a 1993 Details magazine interview Johnny explained his self-injury, "My body is a journal in a way. It's like what sailors used to do, where every tattoo meant something, a specific time in your life when you make a mark on yourself, whether you do it yourself with a knife or with a professional tattoo artist." Johnny has several tattoos, such as the one that says 'Wino Forever' (used to be 'Winona Forever" when he was dating the famous actress, Winona Ryder).
Johnny Depp is now thirty-seven, lives in France with his steady girlfriend (whom he considers his wife), Vanessa Paradis, and his young daughter. He has quit doing drugs and no longer drinks heavily. In a 2001 Movie Star Magazine interview he talked about how he is currently the happiest he has ever been, "My upbringing made me as I am now. But I can become merry and happy at once. There were many years I was feeling at a loss about my life or how I grew up. I couldn't understand what is right or what is precious. At that time, I was so miserable and self-defeating. I was feeling angry with various things. My anger came up to the surface then. I don't say such tendency has disappeared. Even now there are anger and the dark side in myself. But it's the first time I've been so close to the light."
Colin Farrell-
Colin was born on May 31, 1976 in Castleknock, Dublin, Ireland. This famous actor has starred in a number of films and has gained quite a fan following. He has been named a bad boy in Hollywood because of his flippant attitude towards drink, drugs and sex.
Colin said to GQ of school, "I was terrible in school. I really didn't listen a day. I was just so uninterested. I had no grand master plan. I just never studied and didn't do homework, cheated in exams every chance I got. I just didn't give a fuck." He was the youngest of four children and had it easier than his older siblings. He took great advantage of this. Colin said that was the reason he "ended up fucking earlier, and drinking earlier, and doing drugs earlier." At age thirteen he had already been drinking and he has described two drinking episodes that resulted in vomiting and "the spins." He smoked his first spliff when he was fifteen and first took Ecstasy when he was sixteen. That was the start in experimenting with other drugs. He would lock the door of his bedroom and he would do speed, coke, ecstasy, or whatever other drug he had.
At sixteen, because over twenty boys at school looking to hurt him his parents moved him to Gormanston boarding school. Colin, who often fought in school, did not adhere to the school's strict discipline. He often skipped classes and would spend lunch drinking at a local pool hall. At seventeen he was expelled because he threw a supervisor against a wall and threatened him because the supervisor grabbed him.
As a teenager Colin tried to get into the entertainment world. He signed up for a local modeling agency and got small bits on television. One part was modeling a G-string on Irish television. He volunteered because, "That was a pill, you know. Two pills if you're buying off the right person..." Colin and a friend later tried to get to America but were unable to so they opted for Australia. He got his first role in a play but returned to Ireland only ten months into his stay. After his return from Australia he was drifting and was completely depressed. Later on he would feel that this difficulty was self-created. He stopped talking to siblings and eventually had a sort of breakdown in front of his mother. A doctor told him he had to stop the drugs so he stopped both the drugs and drinking at that time. The doctor put him on Librium and some Antabuse pills that would make him sick if he drank. He stopped drinking for eleven months.
In GQ Colin said of himself, "I'm a hair puller-outer." When he was thirteen or fourteen he tugged out the whole part of hair near his forehead, strand by strand. "What do you call it? Trichomania or something. There is some generic psychological term for it. I loved the sensation." He liked the little jabs of pain of the hair as it was pulled out. "Yeah, the little sensation. Just, yeah... right before it's left the follicle, right - that moment, right before it's left. And then the... duuukkkk. I just fucking love it."
Angelina Jolie-
Angelina Jolie, a young actress who has starred in "Girl Interrupted" and "Tomb Raider," was born in 1975 to famous parents, both actors. She grew up in Los Angeles and studied at the Lee Strsberg Institute. She appeared in five student films for her filmmaker brother, James Haven Voight, as well as in music videos for the Rolling Stones, Meat Loaf, the Lemonheads, and Lenny Kravitz. Angelina had a short modeling career with Finesse Modeling Agency, in which she appeared in numerous fashion layouts. In 1996, at the age of twenty, she got married to Jonny Lee Miller, a British actor, while wearing a white shirt with her fiance's name written on it in her blood. The two got divorced two years later. In May 2000 she got married to Billy Bob Thornton.
In June 2001 Rolling Stone she said that during her very early teens she started "thinking about not wanting to be around. It was when the reality of life set in, the reality of surviving." Also, Angelina used to hurt herself during her early teens but stopped around the age of sixteen. She explained in a 2000 Maxim article, "You're young, you're crazy, you're in bed and you've got knives. So shit happens." But in 1999 Access Hollywood interview she explained it more in-depth, "I was..trying to feel something....I was looking at different things..thinking romantically about...about blood. I really hurt myself," and also said, "I was just....a kid. I was like 13, And, I was saying that it is not something that is cool. Its not cool. And I understand that it is a cry for help..."
In a 2000 Jane interview she said, "This person asked me about cutting myself when they saw a scar. I'm very open, but because of that, people think that they know everything about me, and, actually, they don't know anything. I say things that other people might go through. That's what artists should do - throw things out there and not be perfect and not have answers for anything and see if people understand. But this person made the cutting sound interesting, like it was something I do now. [For the record, she did, but doesn't now, and doesn't endorse it.] And then I met somebody who said they'd seen movies of mine and then showed me where they had cut themselves. I had to explain, first off, not to do that. But it made me really fucking angry at the people who represent me in a way that would get that person to do that and show me. I don't understand why people would want to use something so damaging. It's like, let's make me look 'cool' and worry a lot of people in my family." Angelina has the Japanese symbol for "death" tattooed on her shoulder, and the Latin words, 'Quod me nutrit me destruit,' on her stomach, meaning "What nourishes me also destroys me."
Angelina Jolie no longer hurts herself as a way of coping but she freely admits to using knives during sex play. Article and interviews indicate that she is a much happier and more content individual than she was earlier in her life.
Johnny Depp-
Johnny Depp, a young actor well known for his past "bad boy" behavior, was born in Owensboro, Kentucky in 1963. In a 1999 Avantgarde interview Johnny said, "As a teenager I was so insecure. I was the type of guy that never fitted in because he never dared to choose. I was convinced I had absolutely no talent at all. For nothing. And that thought took away all my ambition too." Even today he still has feelings of insecurity about himself. In 1999 he said, "My self-image it still isn't that alright. No matter how famous I am, no matter how many people go to see my movies, I still have the idea that I'm that pale no-hoper that I used to be. A pale no-hoper that happens to be a little lucky now. Tomorrow it'll be all over, then I'll have to go back to selling pens again." During his teens he had drinking, smoking and doing drugs. There were episodes of petty theft and vandalism. He dropped out of high school at the age of sixteen so that he could concentrate on being a musician. He continued to have problems with drugs and drinking into his twenties.
Johnny has a series of seven or eight scars on his left forearm where he has cut himself with a knife on different occasions to commemorate various moments or rights of passage in his life. In a Talk magazine interview he said, "It was really just whatever [times when he hurt himself]--good times, bad times, it didn't matter. There was no ceremony. It wasn't like 'Okay, this just happened, I have to go hack a piece of my flesh off.'" In a 1993 Details magazine interview Johnny explained his self-injury, "My body is a journal in a way. It's like what sailors used to do, where every tattoo meant something, a specific time in your life when you make a mark on yourself, whether you do it yourself with a knife or with a professional tattoo artist." Johnny has several tattoos, such as the one that says 'Wino Forever' (used to be 'Winona Forever" when he was dating the famous actress, Winona Ryder).
Johnny Depp is now thirty-seven, lives in France with his steady girlfriend (whom he considers his wife), Vanessa Paradis, and his young daughter. He has quit doing drugs and no longer drinks heavily. In a 2001 Movie Star Magazine interview he talked about how he is currently the happiest he has ever been, "My upbringing made me as I am now. But I can become merry and happy at once. There were many years I was feeling at a loss about my life or how I grew up. I couldn't understand what is right or what is precious. At that time, I was so miserable and self-defeating. I was feeling angry with various things. My anger came up to the surface then. I don't say such tendency has disappeared. Even now there are anger and the dark side in myself. But it's the first time I've been so close to the light."
Colin Farrell-
Colin was born on May 31, 1976 in Castleknock, Dublin, Ireland. This famous actor has starred in a number of films and has gained quite a fan following. He has been named a bad boy in Hollywood because of his flippant attitude towards drink, drugs and sex.
Colin said to GQ of school, "I was terrible in school. I really didn't listen a day. I was just so uninterested. I had no grand master plan. I just never studied and didn't do homework, cheated in exams every chance I got. I just didn't give a fuck." He was the youngest of four children and had it easier than his older siblings. He took great advantage of this. Colin said that was the reason he "ended up fucking earlier, and drinking earlier, and doing drugs earlier." At age thirteen he had already been drinking and he has described two drinking episodes that resulted in vomiting and "the spins." He smoked his first spliff when he was fifteen and first took Ecstasy when he was sixteen. That was the start in experimenting with other drugs. He would lock the door of his bedroom and he would do speed, coke, ecstasy, or whatever other drug he had.
At sixteen, because over twenty boys at school looking to hurt him his parents moved him to Gormanston boarding school. Colin, who often fought in school, did not adhere to the school's strict discipline. He often skipped classes and would spend lunch drinking at a local pool hall. At seventeen he was expelled because he threw a supervisor against a wall and threatened him because the supervisor grabbed him.
As a teenager Colin tried to get into the entertainment world. He signed up for a local modeling agency and got small bits on television. One part was modeling a G-string on Irish television. He volunteered because, "That was a pill, you know. Two pills if you're buying off the right person..." Colin and a friend later tried to get to America but were unable to so they opted for Australia. He got his first role in a play but returned to Ireland only ten months into his stay. After his return from Australia he was drifting and was completely depressed. Later on he would feel that this difficulty was self-created. He stopped talking to siblings and eventually had a sort of breakdown in front of his mother. A doctor told him he had to stop the drugs so he stopped both the drugs and drinking at that time. The doctor put him on Librium and some Antabuse pills that would make him sick if he drank. He stopped drinking for eleven months.
In GQ Colin said of himself, "I'm a hair puller-outer." When he was thirteen or fourteen he tugged out the whole part of hair near his forehead, strand by strand. "What do you call it? Trichomania or something. There is some generic psychological term for it. I loved the sensation." He liked the little jabs of pain of the hair as it was pulled out. "Yeah, the little sensation. Just, yeah... right before it's left the follicle, right - that moment, right before it's left. And then the... duuukkkk. I just fucking love it."
Angelina Jolie-
Angelina Jolie, a young actress who has starred in "Girl Interrupted" and "Tomb Raider," was born in 1975 to famous parents, both actors. She grew up in Los Angeles and studied at the Lee Strsberg Institute. She appeared in five student films for her filmmaker brother, James Haven Voight, as well as in music videos for the Rolling Stones, Meat Loaf, the Lemonheads, and Lenny Kravitz. Angelina had a short modeling career with Finesse Modeling Agency, in which she appeared in numerous fashion layouts. In 1996, at the age of twenty, she got married to Jonny Lee Miller, a British actor, while wearing a white shirt with her fiance's name written on it in her blood. The two got divorced two years later. In May 2000 she got married to Billy Bob Thornton.
In June 2001 Rolling Stone she said that during her very early teens she started "thinking about not wanting to be around. It was when the reality of life set in, the reality of surviving." Also, Angelina used to hurt herself during her early teens but stopped around the age of sixteen. She explained in a 2000 Maxim article, "You're young, you're crazy, you're in bed and you've got knives. So shit happens." But in 1999 Access Hollywood interview she explained it more in-depth, "I was..trying to feel something....I was looking at different things..thinking romantically about...about blood. I really hurt myself," and also said, "I was just....a kid. I was like 13, And, I was saying that it is not something that is cool. Its not cool. And I understand that it is a cry for help..."
In a 2000 Jane interview she said, "This person asked me about cutting myself when they saw a scar. I'm very open, but because of that, people think that they know everything about me, and, actually, they don't know anything. I say things that other people might go through. That's what artists should do - throw things out there and not be perfect and not have answers for anything and see if people understand. But this person made the cutting sound interesting, like it was something I do now. [For the record, she did, but doesn't now, and doesn't endorse it.] And then I met somebody who said they'd seen movies of mine and then showed me where they had cut themselves. I had to explain, first off, not to do that. But it made me really fucking angry at the people who represent me in a way that would get that person to do that and show me. I don't understand why people would want to use something so damaging. It's like, let's make me look 'cool' and worry a lot of people in my family." Angelina has the Japanese symbol for "death" tattooed on her shoulder, and the Latin words, 'Quod me nutrit me destruit,' on her stomach, meaning "What nourishes me also destroys me."
Angelina Jolie no longer hurts herself as a way of coping but she freely admits to using knives during sex play. Article and interviews indicate that she is a much happier and more content individual than she was earlier in her life.