Author Topic: Relationship with an Assyrian  (Read 768 times)

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Offline Yasinn

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Relationship with an Assyrian
« on: October 03, 2017, 11:35:34 AM »
Hello everyone,

So let me start off with my background. I'm a man in his 20s born and living in the Netherlands. I have a Dutch mother, and a Moroccan father who both love each other even though they differ in backgrounds and beliefs. My father is a Muslim, and my mother is Roman Catholic. I myself follow no religion, though I do believe in the existence of a governing force in this universe, and that religion in essence is based on this belief.

I've been with an Assyrian girl who is born in Baghdad.
The family of my girlfriend (mother, father, herself and her sister) moved over to Europe during the Gulf War. After living in the Netherlands for several years, the father of my girlfriend divorced her mother.

We've been together for over 3 years in secret, and before that we've worked together in the same company for 6 years.
She met my parents over 2 years ago, and came to accept her as part of the family.
She makes me happy and I make her happy. There's only one problem, as all of you probably already suspect, and that is my background.

My girlfriend fears that her mother will never give her blessing. Coming from a family which has Islamic members doesn't help, as well as the fact that I'm part North African.
I'm at a loss, and have been arguing with her over this for months on end now. We both hope her mother will come to accept me.

Does anyone have any constructive ideas on how to approach this issue? Many thanks in advance.

With kind regards,

A lost soul
« Last Edit: October 03, 2017, 01:17:42 PM by Yasinn »



Offline mrzurnaci

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Re: Relationship with an Assyrian
« Reply #1 on: October 03, 2017, 12:40:28 PM »
No Muslims, period.
Anyone who thinks that "darami mujrim" was a prophet is themself a mujrim.
« Last Edit: October 03, 2017, 12:41:35 PM by mrzurnaci »

Offline Yasinn

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Re: Relationship with an Assyrian
« Reply #2 on: October 03, 2017, 12:55:02 PM »
No Muslims, period.
Anyone who thinks that "darami mujrim" was a prophet is themself a mujrim.

I'm not a Muslim myself.

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Re: Relationship with an Assyrian
« Reply #2 on: October 03, 2017, 12:55:02 PM »

Offline mrzurnaci

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Re: Relationship with an Assyrian
« Reply #3 on: October 03, 2017, 03:12:15 PM »
I'm not a Muslim myself.

The real question is, aren't you're supposed to get her father's blessing whether they're divorced or not?
Either way, we Assyrians are a family oriented bunch. Your parents and her parents have to be at least on friendly terms.

I doubt this will be reality considering your Muslim family members.

Also, it doesn't matter if you're not religious.
by Islamic law, if your dad is a Muslim, you're legally a Muslim.
This is what we Assyrians have recognized from living in Islamic countries so there's no solution to this.

Hate to say it but you gotta break it.
« Last Edit: October 03, 2017, 03:13:25 PM by mrzurnaci »

Offline Yasinn

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Re: Relationship with an Assyrian
« Reply #4 on: October 03, 2017, 03:56:57 PM »
The real question is, aren't you're supposed to get her father's blessing whether they're divorced or not?
Either way, we Assyrians are a family oriented bunch. Your parents and her parents have to be at least on friendly terms.

I doubt this will be reality considering your Muslim family members.

Also, it doesn't matter if you're not religious.
by Islamic law, if your dad is a Muslim, you're legally a Muslim.
This is what we Assyrians have recognized from living in Islamic countries so there's no solution to this.

Hate to say it but you gotta break it.

My girlfriend told me that the blessing of her mother is above the blessing of her father, which comes second... So I don't know.
From what I've heard, her mother is on even grounds with other Moroccan people she usually see on a day-to-day basis. Her neighbors are Moroccan, and they often chat and visit each other.
Sounds like friendly terms to me? I do understand that family is the most important thing in the life of any Assyrian, which is why I want to do everything I can to get on even grounds with her family.

It's unfortunate that Middle Eastern countries adopted this law as their own. My father and mother raised me without any religion, and tried not to enforce either Islam or Christianity upon me.
I was thinking about getting myself baptized as a Roman Catholic, and fulfilling my communion. Would that make a difference in the eyes of her parents?

Also, I've studied Assyrian culture, history etc. From the rise of Sumer, to the rule of Sargon, the Codex Hammurabi, all to the rise and fall of Nineveh.
My fascination and admiration for the Assyrian people is getting greater with each article, each book I read about them.

I'm not here trying to disrespect anyone's heritage, or their family by stealing one of their own.
Don't want to sound all tragic but I love this girl... I will provide for her, I will care for her and if necessary I would give my life for her without question.

Offline mrzurnaci

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Re: Relationship with an Assyrian
« Reply #5 on: October 03, 2017, 05:19:19 PM »
My girlfriend told me that the blessing of her mother is above the blessing of her father, which comes second... So I don't know.
From what I've heard, her mother is on even grounds with other Moroccan people she usually see on a day-to-day basis. Her neighbors are Moroccan, and they often chat and visit each other.
Sounds like friendly terms to me? I do understand that family is the most important thing in the life of any Assyrian, which is why I want to do everything I can to get on even grounds with her family.

It's unfortunate that Middle Eastern countries adopted this law as their own. My father and mother raised me without any religion, and tried not to enforce either Islam or Christianity upon me.
I was thinking about getting myself baptized as a Roman Catholic, and fulfilling my communion. Would that make a difference in the eyes of her parents?

Also, I've studied Assyrian culture, history etc. From the rise of Sumer, to the rule of Sargon, the Codex Hammurabi, all to the rise and fall of Nineveh.
My fascination and admiration for the Assyrian people is getting greater with each article, each book I read about them.

I'm not here trying to disrespect anyone's heritage, or their family by stealing one of their own.
Don't want to sound all tragic but I love this girl... I will provide for her, I will care for her and if necessary I would give my life for her without question.

Doesn't matter what your girlfriend said, Dad is head of the household. Dads blessing comes first, not mom.
Realistically, both parents should be giving the blessing but Dad is the household so it's really his blessing as your Assyrian girlfriend has HIS last name.

Secondly, baptizing as a roman catholic wouldn't make a difference. If you want to make the difference, u have to marry/baptize/whatever under her family's church.

We Assyrians have our own churches and even our own sect of Christianity which we've followed since back when Turkey was Byzantine Roman.
Many Muslims think we are recent converts which is 100% wrong.

Thirdly, no Muslims, no exceptions. For every Muslim that did try to steal our own, we reconverted 5 of them to our churches.
« Last Edit: October 03, 2017, 05:20:22 PM by mrzurnaci »

Offline Yasinn

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Re: Relationship with an Assyrian
« Reply #6 on: October 03, 2017, 06:10:09 PM »
Doesn't matter what your girlfriend said, Dad is head of the household. Dads blessing comes first, not mom.
Realistically, both parents should be giving the blessing but Dad is the household so it's really his blessing as your Assyrian girlfriend has HIS last name.

Secondly, baptizing as a roman catholic wouldn't make a difference. If you want to make the difference, u have to marry/baptize/whatever under her family's church.

We Assyrians have our own churches and even our own sect of Christianity which we've followed since back when Turkey was Byzantine Roman.
Many Muslims think we are recent converts which is 100% wrong.

Thirdly, no Muslims, no exceptions. For every Muslim that did try to steal our own, we reconverted 5 of them to our churches.

If her father's blessing is more important, then I will do my best to convince him.
Though I do wonder how a father can still be head of a household when he is absent from said household...

As I said, I'm not a Muslim. Moroccan people tend to be not strict on religion, and even if that were the case, I was raised in a Western society by Western standards.
I don't even speak my father's language. So, if I would baptize under a Assyrian/her family's church then I would stand more of a chance?
If so then I'd be willing to do that.

I don't know about what the majority of Muslims believe concerning your religion, but my father acknowledges the fact that Assyrians adopted Christianity as far back as in the first century AD.
He is well-informed on that part.

I'm also not trying to 'steal' a member of your people. I also couldn't care less how many people you've converted to your faith, that's not my concern.
I have no intention to cause hostilities, as I'm not your enemy. As I said, I have great admiration for Assyrians in general.

Offline Cascade

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Re: Relationship with an Assyrian
« Reply #7 on: October 05, 2017, 11:04:59 PM »
The fact that you're part North African might be daunting to the Assyrian parents, as they're not culturally or racially homogeneous to us. We are more 'warmer', if you will, to Lebanese, Iraqi, Syrian, Jordanian and even Iranian Muslims, as we've lived among them. A lot of them may convert or at least remain secular when they have romantic relationships with us. Moroccans and Algerians, on the other hand, are a farther reach from us and would appear 'foreign'.

My question is, will your father accept a Christian woman? Muslim fathers are really stubborn in that aspect, and would probably opt for imposing their beliefs on their son's partner.

P.S. You don't have to convert or get baptized. Is your girlfriend a practicing Christian? If not, yous can both remain secular and not have to deal with any religion(s).
It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change. - Charles Darwin

Offline Joe25

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Re: Relationship with an Assyrian
« Reply #8 on: October 06, 2017, 02:15:22 PM »
If her father's blessing is more important, then I will do my best to convince him.
Though I do wonder how a father can still be head of a household when he is absent from said household...

As I said, I'm not a Muslim. Moroccan people tend to be not strict on religion, and even if that were the case, I was raised in a Western society by Western standards.
I don't even speak my father's language. So, if I would baptize under a Assyrian/her family's church then I would stand more of a chance?
If so then I'd be willing to do that.

I don't know about what the majority of Muslims believe concerning your religion, but my father acknowledges the fact that Assyrians adopted Christianity as far back as in the first century AD.
He is well-informed on that part.

I'm also not trying to 'steal' a member of your people. I also couldn't care less how many people you've converted to your faith, that's not my concern.
I have no intention to cause hostilities, as I'm not your enemy. As I said, I have great admiration for Assyrians in general.

I don't think you understand(or you're practising taqqiya here) the repercussions it would have from your family even if what you say about yourself is sincere. I know all about Moroccans in West Europe, they're actually the biggest trouble makers from the islamic demograph in countries like Holland, Belgium, France etc. Maybe this Assyrian girl is dumb and naive enough to get involved with you not knowing what she's getting herself into but you certainly know the risks. If you have admiration for Assyrians you would find a girl of your culture or close to it.

Offline Yasinn

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Re: Relationship with an Assyrian
« Reply #9 on: October 06, 2017, 09:00:43 PM »
I don't think you understand(or you're practising taqqiya here) the repercussions it would have from your family even if what you say about yourself is sincere. I know all about Moroccans in West Europe, they're actually the biggest trouble makers from the islamic demograph in countries like Holland, Belgium, France etc. Maybe this Assyrian girl is dumb and naive enough to get involved with you not knowing what she's getting herself into but you certainly know the risks. If you have admiration for Assyrians you would find a girl of your culture or close to it.

I'm not practicing taqqiya at all. My father migrated from Morocco when he was in his mid 20's because he did not feel at home there.
He's been married to my mother for almost 30 years now. She's raised as a Roman Catholic, but my father never tried to impose his faith on her. When my mother visits Morocco, my family there is very open towards her and treats her like one of their own. I'm speaking the truth here. On grounds of religion, culture, or ethnicity, there are no risks from my family's side. My father is even more open-minded then some Dutch fathers I've seen.

The fact that you're part North African might be daunting to the Assyrian parents, as they're not culturally or racially homogeneous to us. We are more 'warmer', if you will, to Lebanese, Iraqi, Syrian, Jordanian and even Iranian Muslims, as we've lived among them. A lot of them may convert or at least remain secular when they have romantic relationships with us. Moroccans and Algerians, on the other hand, are a farther reach from us and would appear 'foreign'.

My question is, will your father accept a Christian woman? Muslim fathers are really stubborn in that aspect, and would probably opt for imposing their beliefs on their son's partner.

P.S. You don't have to convert or get baptized. Is your girlfriend a practicing Christian? If not, yous can both remain secular and not have to deal with any religion(s).

I understand your concern on whether my father will accept a Christian, but I'm lucky to say that he's already accepted her into our family. He never had any problems with her being a Christian. If he did then he'd be a hypocrite, being married to a Christian himself. My father is someone who doesn't care about social pressure, not even from the Moroccan community in the Netherlands. As a result of this, he isn't pressured to impose his beliefs on others. He's a man who practices his religion in private, and believes that he has no business in enforcing it on someone else (not even his own children and wife). He hasn't even visited a mosque for the last 10 years or so, as does not agree with these institutions and believes that these places draw all kinds of hypocrites.

My girlfriend is not a practicing Christian, but her parents are. I thought that conversion might increase my chances in being accepted by her parents.
Is there anything else I can do to achieve this?
« Last Edit: October 06, 2017, 09:35:09 PM by Yasinn »

Offline ditto755

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Re: Relationship with an Assyrian
« Reply #10 on: October 06, 2017, 09:54:09 PM »
Possible but very complex. One of my second cousins is engaged to someone who is half Italian-Half Persian. His father's side is Persian and they're not religious but do come from a Muslim background. Plus he was baptized Catholic. I've met him and personally, everyone in my family likes him. The problem with you is what if your dad decided to push Islam onto you?

I've met so many women who married or dated a Muslim guy and eventually converted to Isalm because her husband became super religious and pushed Islam onto her. Most of the time it was the Husbands parents who were the root cause.

Offline Cascade

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Re: Relationship with an Assyrian
« Reply #11 on: October 07, 2017, 02:00:08 AM »
I understand your concern on whether my father will accept a Christian, but I'm lucky to say that he's already accepted her into our family. He never had any problems with her being a Christian. If he did then he'd be a hypocrite, being married to a Christian himself. My father is someone who doesn't care about social pressure, not even from the Moroccan community in the Netherlands. As a result of this, he isn't pressured to impose his beliefs on others. He's a man who practices his religion in private, and believes that he has no business in enforcing it on someone else (not even his own children and wife). He hasn't even visited a mosque for the last 10 years or so, as does not agree with these institutions and believes that these places draw all kinds of hypocrites.

My girlfriend is not a practicing Christian, but her parents are. I thought that conversion might increase my chances in being accepted by her parents.
Is there anything else I can do to achieve this?
If your father, as you say, is fine by your relationship, and now you say both of yous don't practice your religion, then I tell you go and get married. What's the impediment here?

Not to mention, Assyrian parents don't mind atheists/secularist as much as they mind Muslims. I think you can have a fair go, but it depends on the Assyrian individual. Will they be open to an irreligious person or not? Whilst marrying a Muslim is a huge taboo in our community, marrying an atheist is also not that acceptable. So yeah, depends on the Assyrian parent.
It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change. - Charles Darwin

Offline Yasinn

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Re: Relationship with an Assyrian
« Reply #12 on: October 09, 2017, 06:22:44 PM »
If your father, as you say, is fine by your relationship, and now you say both of yous don't practice your religion, then I tell you go and get married. What's the impediment here?

Not to mention, Assyrian parents don't mind atheists/secularist as much as they mind Muslims. I think you can have a fair go, but it depends on the Assyrian individual. Will they be open to an irreligious person or not? Whilst marrying a Muslim is a huge taboo in our community, marrying an atheist is also not that acceptable. So yeah, depends on the Assyrian parent.

That sounds hopeful. I don't know for sure if her parents are open to atheist/secularist people.
But judging from what I've heard, they sound pretty open-minded. The mother is on good terms with her Moroccan neighbours, and also some Dutch people who aren't Christian.

Possible but very complex. One of my second cousins is engaged to someone who is half Italian-Half Persian. His father's side is Persian and they're not religious but do come from a Muslim background. Plus he was baptized Catholic. I've met him and personally, everyone in my family likes him. The problem with you is what if your dad decided to push Islam onto you?

I've met so many women who married or dated a Muslim guy and eventually converted to Isalm because her husband became super religious and pushed Islam onto her. Most of the time it was the Husbands parents who were the root cause.

I understand this and I know for a fact that this is common, however, my family is an exception to the rule here.
Not even once did my father try to push, or even suggest conversion on me or my mother or sister.
As such, I don't have any incentive to believe that he would do so later.

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Re: Relationship with an Assyrian
« Reply #13 on: October 11, 2017, 05:49:35 AM »
It's possible. However, if her family accepts you, I think there will always be a sense of silent awkwardness among her family.

It's not your fault. There's just too much world history to ignore. It would be like a Jewish girl dating the son of a white supremacist. I'm not calling your father a neo-Nazi, but Islam has meant the destruction of so much Assyrian culture and livelihood. It will be difficult or even impossible for her family to separate your roots from your relationship with their daughter.

In the end it's ultimately her choice regardless of what her family thinks. But yeah it's kind of a ****ty reality
« Last Edit: October 11, 2017, 05:53:32 AM by Kelba »

Offline shekwanta

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Re: Relationship with an Assyrian
« Reply #14 on: October 14, 2017, 03:12:48 PM »
I would have to agree with my Assyrian fellows in the comments. I'm really trying hard not to make this even worse for you, Yasinn. But I mean look at the horrible history muslims have with Assyrians. You having said that you read into Assyrian history should know exactly what I'm saying.

I know that you said her mom seems like a nice person, who has many Moroccan or other foreign friends, but we all do! Because we live among them. But that's friendship. That is not a commitment for life! Friends come and go. But you are trying to make this woman your wife. That is a huge difference. And after you marry her, don't get too surprised if many of her family members start cutting her off of the family and avoiding her. In my family, if one of our women does what your girlfriend is doing, she would be considered dead and will never be spoken of or seen by any member of the family.

And plus, think about your future kids. Your kids will (maybe) not have a muslim father!!.. But they will have muslim grandparents, and muslim aunts and uncles, and muslim cousins. Your kids will have the same problem when they grow up. I don't think your kids will have their Assyrian cousins on their side.

I believe that the best thing you might do in/for this relationship is to get yourself baptized and convert to Christianity. That might actually work for you two. And of course it would be good for her too, because then she can at least tell everyone that she is married to a "Christian". That might still keep her reputation.
Then again you must keep in mind that converting to Christianity must come from your heart. You have to really believe in it. Converting just to marry her, is a means to an end, so it doesn't count.

You seem like a nice guy. And no offense! But but did you actually think you would seek acceptance here on this forum?? (rhetorical) If your girlfriend was my friend, I would have been the first one to tell her to break it off.
You are dealing with one of the most proud and racist cultures in the world. Good luck dude..
« Last Edit: October 14, 2017, 03:15:25 PM by shekwanta »

Offline mrzurnaci

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Re: Relationship with an Assyrian
« Reply #15 on: October 15, 2017, 12:19:37 PM »
You are dealing with one of the most proud and racist cultures in the world. Good luck dude..
Shekwanta, we're not racist just because we dislike a horrible religion...

Offline shekwanta

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Re: Relationship with an Assyrian
« Reply #16 on: October 16, 2017, 07:29:53 PM »
Shekwanta, we're not racist just because we dislike a horrible religion...
No no, I didn't mean being racist because we dislike a horrible religion! ..Trust me, I hate it maybe more than you do!! Maybe more than anyone does! I honestly believe that the world without it would be a better place, not perfect!!, but definitely better!


I meant with racist, that we generally reject anyone who isn't an Assyrian. Sometimes even if they're Christians. For example, my cousin has got a Latina girlfriend (I'm not sure what she is, maybe Brasilian) and she is Christian, but she suffers because she notices that my aunt (my cousin's mom) doesn't like her. She once even cried in front of my aunt telling her she wished she had been born an Assyrian to be able to make her happy and get her blessing. My aunt literally replied "yeah, I wish you were born Assyrian too. I would have loved you more"..

Had his Latina girlfriend had a different background other than Christianity, I would have said NO! I would have been on my aunt's side. BUT the girl is Christian from a Christian background, just like all other latinas/latinos.
I always look at the religion first, mrzurnaci! I feel like that is the most important criterion to determine whether to be or not to be with a person.


The problem with Yasinn here is that even if he does convert to Christianity, he can't drag his whole dad's side of the family with him! He is not originally Christian! For me, that is the taboo. So I'm trying to think of as much "damage control" as I can. Obviously the girl has fallen for him too (from I got) and let's be honest here, with the reputation of having fallen for a "guy with a muslim background" no Assyrian man will ever wanna marry her! So I'm guessing the least he can do is become a Christian, for the sake of both of them and the sake of the family. The situation will still be very messed up, but Christianity -in my eyes- is always some kind of progress.
Although this should not mean that I am supporting this marriage in any way or form!!! I think the bride and groom should sit down and talk. REALLY talk.

Offline mrzurnaci

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Re: Relationship with an Assyrian
« Reply #17 on: October 16, 2017, 10:23:10 PM »
No no, I didn't mean being racist because we dislike a horrible religion! ..Trust me, I hate it maybe more than you do!! Maybe more than anyone does! I honestly believe that the world without it would be a better place, not perfect!!, but definitely better!


I meant with racist, that we generally reject anyone who isn't an Assyrian. Sometimes even if they're Christians. For example, my cousin has got a Latina girlfriend (I'm not sure what she is, maybe Brasilian) and she is Christian, but she suffers because she notices that my aunt (my cousin's mom) doesn't like her. She once even cried in front of my aunt telling her she wished she had been born an Assyrian to be able to make her happy and get her blessing. My aunt literally replied "yeah, I wish you were born Assyrian too. I would have loved you more"..

I don't think that's the idea either. We usually like some who's of similar background or culture to us, like Armenians, Greeks, Maronites, etc.

He's half Maghrebi and European which is completely different from Middle Eastern and Eastern Mediterranean based culture.

Offline Cascade

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Re: Relationship with an Assyrian
« Reply #18 on: October 19, 2017, 02:11:15 AM »
I don't think that's the idea either. We usually like some who's of similar background or culture to us, like Armenians, Greeks, Maronites, etc.

He's half Maghrebi and European which is completely different from Middle Eastern and Eastern Mediterranean based culture.
True.

But let's give me a break. He's in love, as corny as this sounds. So let him be happy. Assyrians are dying right now in the homeland, but the world has to stop because he's "stealing" an Assyrian lady. That's just so trivial in comparison.

Again, the man is not a practicing Muslim. That part should be comforting enough. Sure, his culture is foreign, but I doubt that him and his Assyrian wife would be practicing Dutch/Maghreb traditions. They both seem secular and they'd both be speaking English with each other. They will be "western acting" who happen to have 'ethnic' backgrounds. This happens all over the world.
It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change. - Charles Darwin

Offline shekwanta

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Re: Relationship with an Assyrian
« Reply #19 on: October 21, 2017, 03:28:56 PM »
I don't think that's the idea either. We usually like some who's of similar background or culture to us, like Armenians, Greeks, Maronites, etc.

He's half Maghrebi and European which is completely different from Middle Eastern and Eastern Mediterranean based culture.
Yeah mrzurnaci, I get that he's not from the middle east, but are you saying that IF HE WAS an Iraqi muslim let's say, or Syrian muslim, or Jordanian muslim, do you really think we would be more accepting just because he would be from the middle east??

Armenians and Greeks.. of course we all know that they're acceptable. But let's keep in mind that you named countries with Christians being the majority, if not the whole country being Christian. But of course you won't be able to label neighbouring countries as "acceptable" if the majority in that specific country was muslim or buddhist or other religions.. am I not right? Does that even make sense, how I'm explaining it?

Cause honestly, if the case is how you said it is mrzurnaci, that we basically pay more attention to the geographical aspects, then I would rather marry a Christian from wherever in the world (nationality doesn't matter), as long as he's Christian with a Christian family and background. Personally speaking.

Offline mrzurnaci

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Re: Relationship with an Assyrian
« Reply #20 on: October 21, 2017, 05:47:57 PM »
Yeah mrzurnaci, I get that he's not from the middle east, but are you saying that IF HE WAS an Iraqi muslim let's say, or Syrian muslim, or Jordanian muslim, do you really think we would be more accepting just because he would be from the middle east??

-__- where the eff did I imply that? You just made me mad with that implication? I do almost nothing but riff on Islam here and then you say this...

Offline shekwanta

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Re: Relationship with an Assyrian
« Reply #21 on: Yesterday at 06:30:38 AM »
-__- where the eff did I imply that? You just made me mad with that implication? I do almost nothing but riff on Islam here and then you say this...
Hahahahahaha.. alright alright! I'm sorry! Must have gotten your opinion wrong. I thought you were saying that nationality was more important than religion, but then stated names of Christian societies we would be compatible with! So I kinda thought that that didn't make sense.

Offline Yasinn

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Re: Relationship with an Assyrian
« Reply #22 on: Yesterday at 08:59:06 PM »
I would have to agree with my Assyrian fellows in the comments. I'm really trying hard not to make this even worse for you, Yasinn. But I mean look at the horrible history muslims have with Assyrians. You having said that you read into Assyrian history should know exactly what I'm saying.

I know that you said her mom seems like a nice person, who has many Moroccan or other foreign friends, but we all do! Because we live among them. But that's friendship. That is not a commitment for life! Friends come and go. But you are trying to make this woman your wife. That is a huge difference. And after you marry her, don't get too surprised if many of her family members start cutting her off of the family and avoiding her. In my family, if one of our women does what your girlfriend is doing, she would be considered dead and will never be spoken of or seen by any member of the family.

And plus, think about your future kids. Your kids will (maybe) not have a muslim father!!.. But they will have muslim grandparents, and muslim aunts and uncles, and muslim cousins. Your kids will have the same problem when they grow up. I don't think your kids will have their Assyrian cousins on their side.

I believe that the best thing you might do in/for this relationship is to get yourself baptized and convert to Christianity. That might actually work for you two. And of course it would be good for her too, because then she can at least tell everyone that she is married to a "Christian". That might still keep her reputation.
Then again you must keep in mind that converting to Christianity must come from your heart. You have to really believe in it. Converting just to marry her, is a means to an end, so it doesn't count.

You seem like a nice guy. And no offense! But but did you actually think you would seek acceptance here on this forum?? (rhetorical) If your girlfriend was my friend, I would have been the first one to tell her to break it off.
You are dealing with one of the most proud and racist cultures in the world. Good luck dude..

You make a good point in stating the difference between acceptance to friendships and relationships.
I will have to consider the consequences of other family ties from my girlfriends' side.

I've found an Assyrian church in the Netherlands, and I'm thinking of visiting it and gathering more information on getting baptized.

 

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